this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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I thought she was snapping the cow's neck as punishment for not being abducted, or maybe her abuse was why the cow wanted to be abducted in the first place. Took me a minute to realize she was in a cow costume.
Don't forget your towel.
Now there's a hoopy frood who knows where his towel is
I'm ok with being probed at this point if it'll get me off this rock.
My friend, my sister and I have this fucking stupid game we came up with years ago where we will be telling the other a long, descriptive story and the joke is that the story always ends with learning guitar, joining a band, getting famous, being abducted by aliens and turned into a spaceship to explore the cosmos.
Take me FROM my leader!
Probably the most affordable. Plus, free anal probes! Those aren't cheap.
Get probed "Damn another one with cancer!" Then they just dump you back saying or doing nothing else
I don't even like anal, but I'd take it over the day to day at this point....
Common autism joke is that we got here by accident and one day an alien will come bring us back home.
In any case i would not call it an abduction if you want it!
Lets take this one step further.
The aliens land and they turn out to be these god like creatures with the ability to twist and distort reality at will. They send you here as a baby but you fell on your head when you tried to climb out of your capsule Goku style.
Turns out you regained your powers unknowingly and your anxiety kept fucking this world up step by step, culminating in what happened the last decade. Instead of ending everything in a couple of weeks, you turned Earth into a joke of a depressing hell.
Let take another step in some direction.
In a far future from now the aliens arrive and they turn out to be (y)our god parents. everything we have know till now is just a natural growing up.
You know we fucked up many times over the course of history but every time we destroyed (y)ourself you eventually put us back together and ultimately learned. Our parents are proud, I am ready for what comes next!
That you're out of this world?
You can't afford it, Lady.
Sounds like inspirobot.me.