Why not meeting up in a park or anywhere with some attraction to kids? They will still need and have attention, but at least they're not crying. Perhaps she should pick the place, if you communicate assertively about it...
Unless you were 1oo% sure you don't want to be anywhere near kids. Then, that's it...
PS. Do have an pre-made excuse to leave early in case you find things unbearable at some point :P
Not at all. The dick move would be to accept the coffee invitation and waste their time when you’re clearly not interested in being their friend.
NTA
If they're unable to leave their child alone, then yes. Depends on the situation of both individual and the answer is always more complex than this.
I remember posting in that thread earlier, and people were way more understanding
Now the top comments are all dogpiling on the guy for not wanting to hang out with their friend's children.
Sad
Frankly, it feels like she's testing you.
You mention you've been chatting a while and she might have the urge to test you among her children to see how you interact with them.
There's a good chance she might not fully realize she is doing this.
And it doesn't even mean she looks for a direct change in relationship status.
Her motherly instinct just tells her "here is this guy who seems friendly, but how safe is this for my children?"
So, if you're put off by this and have no interest in her or the circumstances, just let her know gently.
If you blow up on her directly about her kids you'll just upset the mother in her and she might not understand, and you might be seen as the a-hole.
You are only a dick if you hang out with this her, as she clearly wants to reconnect, probably because you're the only adult ATM who could be considered safe to her. If you truly don't, be honest and let her know due to your aversion to children, it's best you don't meetup.
It's okay to have boundaries and to enforce them in a kind way; you'd have a better day by enjoying a hobby you like or drink coffee by yourself.
I mean it's understable, but still feels like it lacks empathy from you. She would probably love to hang out without them, but probably can't.
No you're not being a dick but you won't get an objective answer here