this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2025

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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

187

Anon's split personality (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 10 hours ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] BreakerSwitch@lemm.ee 28 points 2 hours ago

I've heard similar takes resolved with "this person is venomously sexist, but straight." Once their sexual needs are met, the one thing they want out of a partner is done, it's back to absolutely loathing women.

Sounds like a nightmare, tbh.

[–] kata1yst@sh.itjust.works 47 points 4 hours ago

Believe it or not, straight to therapy.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 15 points 4 hours ago

Anon should be dumped, or break up and find someone he likes. Or just find friends with benefits, or an escort?

[–] katze@lemmy.cafe 54 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

Gay: anon had sex with a woman and hated it

[–] trashgirlfriend@lemmy.world 30 points 6 hours ago

Fake: anon had sex

[–] sunglocto@lemmy.dbzer0.com 30 points 6 hours ago

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 57 points 9 hours ago (21 children)

Uh, anon, vaginas aren't supposed to be washed. That disrupts the microbiome and can lead to infections.

[–] WorldsDumbestMan@lemmy.today 2 points 2 hours ago

What other parts aren't meant to be washed? Asking for a friend.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 7 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

It isn't washed with soap, but it is washed with water

[–] YarrMatey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 4 hours ago

Vulvas can be washed with water and unscented, mild soap if tolerated but not vaginas, they are self-cleaning.

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-clean-your-vagina

https://www.self.com/story/best-way-to-clean-vagina

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Someone hasn't had a girlfriend

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 13 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

Ok buddy, you're allowed to refer to yourself in first person here.

[–] MrLLM@ani.social 1 points 9 minutes ago

Got ‘em!

[+] shalafi@lemmy.world -6 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Why wife uses a bidet and soap, every single use. She's never had a UTI or any other issue down there. Explain.

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 1 points 26 minutes ago

Explanation: Luck. Just pure good luck. Biology is messy, results for one aren't the same for all. It does however increase the chances of an infection, regardless of whether she's ever had a UTI from this practice.

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 16 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

I can't explain that tbh. Would you like me to have a look???

I'm trying my hardest to picture how one would attempt to wash a vagina with a bidet, and the only conclusion I'm getting here that makes any sense is that you probably don't even know what a vagina is.

Here's a little hint for all you confused straight boys: the vagina is the hole, and the bits on the outside are collectively referred to as the vulva. For most of you reading this, the only practical application of this knowledge you'll ever get is maybe leaving slightly more anatomically correct comments in the replies to a greentext, but who knows?

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 6 points 1 hour ago

As a straight boy who is better-versed in vaginal care than most: thank you for spreading the word. Uninformed men can do a lot of damage to the self-esteem (and sometimes, by consequence, to the vaginas) of their partners if they don't know this stuff.

[–] Imhotep@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

it could have been his point

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[–] halvar@lemy.lol 71 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Fake: everything until the linebreak

Gay: everything after the linebreak

[–] LonstedBrowryBased@lemm.ee 2 points 5 hours ago

Evolution anon

[–] Limonene@lemmy.world 23 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

The first half, because of testosterone.

The second half, because of prolactin.

It's not really that simple, but it's part of it. And I'm not a doctor.

[–] Boomkop3@reddthat.com 16 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago)

No, and no. Not even just "not that simple". You're dead wrong. That's like saying I got from home to work because of "wheel". It's involved but it does not drive the show

[–] Outwit1294@lemmy.today 13 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

Anon discovers he might be gay

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 11 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (3 children)

To quote Neil Patrick Harris- “yes, I’m gay. Gay for that pussy. “

-Neil Patrick Harris

Quote attributable to one Neil Patrick Harris. His friends call him Neil. I’m not allowed to call him Neil.

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