Without even looking, lemme guess on which states.

Are they the shit holes with low education rates and high rates of rampant stupidity who suckle the teat of all the blue states paying for them but then complain about it?

The "chemtrail" conspiracy is particularly stupid. Like, you've got to put effort into your own duncefuckery to make the moronic leaps necessary.

"Jetliners are spraying mind control juice"

Uh huh, so, where on the jetliner is it stored? The belly is full of avionics and baggage compartment, the passenger compartment is full of seats, the wings are full of fuel, the tail has maybe a little void space, but enough to crop dust entire time zones? Can you show me any evidence of a jet aircraft equipped with such a dispersion system?

Oh they're flying special flights just for this? Okay, can you show me such a flight that obviously isn't what it says it is? There hasn't been a single air crew, maintenance tech, parts supplier, chemical plant janitor, etc. come forward about any of this?

Oh it's mixed straight into the fuel! Okay, so the Vote For Obama juice still works after spending hours to days dissolved in kerosene and PRIST, and then burned in a jet engine. Again, nobody anywhere in the fuel supply infrastructure has said anything about this. There hasn't been a single Youtube video or Reddit thread about "what are my bosses pumping into the jet fuel?"

I guess they've also paid off all the chemical labs that analyze fuel, oil and other fluid samples. Because that's a thing, aircraft mechanics take samples of engine oil and such and send them to labs for gas chromatography. It's kinda cool, they'll send you a report that says "We're seeing elevated levels of tin and copper consistent with accelerated wear of the intake valve bushings." Nobody has gotten a report back from a lab like that talking about exotic molecules ?

Why would you bother using jet airliners for this that fly extremely high? Some of the particles dispersed would outright NEVER land, some of them will drift hundreds if not thousands of miles before coming to rest in the ocean or a desert. Why not mix the Vote For Obama juice into diesel fuel to be burned by semi-trucks, down near the ground usually where you can find people? Or into automotive gasoline? Surely you could use much less of the chemical that way because it's being burned so close to people.

Maybe that's why Big They are so fucking keen to keep Republicans driving big gas guzzling micropenis trucks around? So that Republican areas get basted with Vote For Obama juice.

Oh, also: There's tetraethyl lead in aviation gasoline. Added as an octane booster and anti-knock additive, it's a POTENT neurotoxin that makes people stupid and asocial. The fuel pumps have a big sign on them saying as much. It shows up in those chromatography tests of engine oil...and in fact you can see it. A bucket of used aviation piston engine oil has a dull metallic sheen on the surface from the lead that didn't make it out of the engine. It's not burned in the quantities that we burn jet fuel, but piston-powered planes do fly lower and closer to civilization in most cases.

But you can't care about any of that, you've got third generation fetal alcohol syndrome so you're just scared of the lines in the sky.

Bigfoot is not allowed at Thanksgiving. Him and frankenstein's monster are still beefing.

Let me get this straight. They are going to outlaw... water condensation. They are literally the grandpa from The Simpsons yelling at the clouds. Because chemtrails are basically just clouds. It's just water vapor from the airplane engines condensing in cold atmosphere at high altitudes. Because it's cold up there. They know it's cold up there, right? Right? Imagine being a grown fucking adult and not knowing how this shit works. Go out in the winter and breathe with open mouth. You're now breathing out chemtrails. you fucking dumbasses.

As if something being real or not has ever mattered with regards to republicans trying to generate panic over a thing

At least eight states, including Florida and Tennessee, have now introduced ... legislation to prohibit “geo-engineering” or “weather modification”

So, nothing to do with chemtrails and specifically addresses geo-engineering and weather modification. Cloud seeding is a thing and dispersing particulates to reflect sunlight has also been much discussed. These states simply don't want it happening in their state.

Wait, I thought it was the government that was putting the chemicals in the trails in the first place, and now their making their own actions illegal?

or even control the weather for nefarious motives.

Actually, contrails do have a slight climate impact. Not controlled of course.

Florida, Tennessee, and Louisiana are named for working to outlaw chemtrails in the article. Articles like this should be required to list things they have already indicated exist in a small, closed set like this. I want a list of states! Or at least their abbreviations.

Are they also going to make witchcraft a felony?

You get the government you deserve.

I almost put this here, but the last part ruined the joke :/