Is anybody confused by this? If so, I can cisplain to you
this post was submitted on 12 Jun 2025
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I hope this doesn't come off as mean but I wonder if there are people with a legimate irantional fear of drag queens like some people are afraid of clowns
drag is literally just a gay clown show.
i don't have an aversion to clowns but i do have an irrational dislike of drag, i wouldn't say "fear" but i have a definite aversion.
i think the makeup and costumes are awful, i think the shows are awful, and i think the elevated place and disproportionate spotlight in "queer culture" that it occupies is awful, and think the way i'm straight up not allowed to talk about how the local "queens" spent months nearly harassing me to suicide over my appearance when i was early in transition for the sin of being trans and working at a store in "their" neighborhood, is really really fucking awful.
yeah i might hate drag shows and drag culture a bit. i'm sure it's totally irrational and an issue with me being informed about a historical drag culture that flat out no longer exists and is surely nothing to do with the scene and community i experienced as they exist today.
imma still come out swinging at nazis to defend them tho. not one inch, these are my bastards.
I'm sorry your local drag community sucks so much. There's definitely drama in our local scene, but on the whole it's very much a trans-inclusive space here. A lot of the big names in my area are trans themselves.
I hope you get to find that someday, because a good drag scene is welcoming, and it's a great way to express complex feelings about gender and deconstructing societal norms and expectations. But when it's done badly, it can be really bad.
Swing away my friend
i mean, if i have an aversion to football, that doesn't mean i hate everyone who plays it or enjoys it
drag shows should be viewed the same way i think
Maybe? The fear of clowns is often rooted in the uncanny. The obscuring makeup of clowns makes their emotions and expressions either so overly exaggerated or difficult/impossible to read which messes with the lizard brain and makes them seem to some people, particularly ones who have issues with reading facial cues, as inhuman. It's sort of the same principle that freaks people out about dolls and mannequins. That almost but decidedly not quite human alarm.
Drag makeup generally serves the opposite purpose. It is exaggerated but in such a way as to be easier to read the performer's face at a distance.
The same cis-person: "I'm a trans ally, you know."
I, uh, I feel like I've unironically said this whilst explaining my complex feelings about JKRowling.
(Yes, I'm aware now what a POS she is)
I mean... this whole post feels like "you can't disagree with a trans person and be an ally", which is an absurd premise.
Or maybe I just haven't had my coffee yet, idk
Trans person maybe, some of us are subject to our own personal problems just like anyone... But a concensus of trans people should be the marker. I don't know how many times I have heard someone claim allyship when they are being called out by multiple trans people for something they said or did.
It's interesting how fast some people will flip. Sometimes a well meaning cis person will suggest something as a work around for some trans engineered social convention or accommodation to try and make things easier for them without realizing how it interacts with the actual experience of being trans. When trans people try and explain exactly why it does not work based off of experience the cis person, upset their idea to solve a problem that they do not fully understand was rejected , suddenly start into the old transphobic gems - "oh you're just trying to be difficult, play the victim, nobody will like you if you're that sensitive"
End of day Trans allyship does involve a certain amount of trusting trans people to tell you what makes them comfortable and what they need because it really is a very different experience of gender at it's core. Deciding what we need on our behalf or telling us how we should feel or giving us advice on how to approach transness happens a lot out in the world and it really isn't helpful. It often just exposes how much the speaker does not understand.
Personal opinion: It isn't for us cis-folks to decide whether we're an ally of trans people or not. That's for trans-folks to decide based on our behavior. It might be better to say something like "I do my best to support trans rights" because then you're not labeling yourself, rather describing your behavior. I just don't think it's up to anyone to be able to label themselves as an "ally" of any group. That's for the group they want to be an ally of to decide.
Also, in my experience, the people who are loudest about being an ally of any group are the least effective allies and most effective at posturing as an ally through performative allyship.
I'd also like cis people to become aware of the fact that the concept of me having allies is totally useless to me.
you either internalize that fighting against bio-essentialism is also for your own sake or you become a danger to me.
for some reading on why the ally-oppressed group relationship is toxic: https://www.indigenousaction.org/accomplices-not-allies-abolishing-the-ally-industrial-complex/
Both of these are excellent pieces, thank you for sharing. Well worth the read for anyone else wondering.
Well said. I usually preface it with "I'll always vote to protect your rights", which I feel has that weak milktoast "I am an ally" energy, but I hear you in terms of measuring personable actions and it not being about me.