Technology

I have 7 trees on my property. If you pay me $700 I’ll promise not to cut them down for five years, and you can subtract 35 tons of CO2 from your environmental balance sheet.

That’s how carbon offsets work. They’re bullshit.

LOL you mean their marketing is a giant lie, and completely ignores the lengths they go to to make their devices unrepairable!? I'm shocked!

I'm an Apple user and think their attempts reduce the environmental footprint of their product's manufacturing is pretty good, however this is unequivocally good news.

Purchasing carbon offsets to claim your product is carbon neutral isn't good practice in my opinion and I'm quite glad to see the EU is thinking of outlawing it. Of course Apple needs to get its arse into gear about expandability and repairability if it is serious about reducing eWaste

In similar news, a local hit man's claims of being "death neutral" are facing increasing scrutiny. Edward Dennyson, known professionally as The Cobra says he has deals with dozens of local conservative Catholic families to have more children. As a result of those deals he can account for 34 births, which can be used to offset the lost lives that are an unfortunate and unavoidable requirement to the operation of his business.

The death-neutral aspect of his business has been a major differentiator, attracting interest from more ethically conscious consumers of his services. However, some voices have been critical. Some, like community organizer Juan Ramirez have wondered if these conservative Catholic families might already have planned to have those children that The Cobra claims. The News reached out to Mr. Ramirez for a comment for this story, but unfortunately he had recently been killed.

Carbon neutral my ass. They have a policy against wfh for full-time employees. That says it all

Carbon credits are bullshit and carbon neutral isn't even good enough anymore.

Apple could use Coca Cola's defence on the vitamin water lawsuit.

"no consumer could reasonably be misled into thinking vitaminwater was a healthy beverage."

No reasonable customer should believe their products is carbon neutral.

Unless the product is fucking logs found in the woods.

Great thing we actually have organizations to shit down this shenanigans.

This is the best summary I could come up with:

Apple faces scrutiny from European environmental and consumer groups over its claims that its latest devices are “carbon neutral,” a term that Brussels proposes to ban in corporate marketing because it is “misleading.”

But the US tech giant’s decision to rely on credits to cancel out the 7-12 kg of greenhouse gas emissions behind each new Watch prompted a sharp reaction from consumer groups in the wake of a long-trailed clampdown by the EU on “greenwashing.”

“The EU’s recent decision to ban carbon neutral claims will rightly clear the market of such bogus messages, and Apple Watches should be no exception.”

The debate over Apple’s claims highlights the problems facing companies that are trying to follow environmentally sound policies, while seeking to make marketing statements to tout their green credentials.

The European Parliament and Council, two decision-making bodies, reached a political agreement in September to ban “misleading advertisements,” including “claims based on emissions offsetting schemes that a product has neutral, reduced or positive impact on the environment.” This accord is yet to be formally adopted.

Climate campaigners have also questioned whether tracking carbon emissions provided a thorough assessment of the environmental impact of small electronic devices such as smartwatches and wireless earbuds, which can be difficult to repair and often end up as e-waste.

The original article contains 451 words, the summary contains 214 words. Saved 53%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

Gods I watched the event thing because I was curious about the new pro model phones, and their constant blabber about carbon neutral became a meme we’re still mocking in my household.

The entire masturbatory skit about “mother Earth” is a perfect example of corporate cringe.

I know the word cringe is overused but no word fits it better.