this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 10 points 11 hours ago

Yes, I'd like a big tiddy sloth demon taking care of me, pretty please

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 7 points 11 hours ago

Can I get the man version of that? Kthnx

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 5 points 11 hours ago

Ah the dream

[–] Bamboodpanda@lemmy.world 4 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

This is my life. Plus 2 cats.

[–] ALiteralCabbage@feddit.uk 1 points 16 minutes ago

Try 3 cats, it's the shit.

My sloth demon wants me to play the new mario kart and eat curries. I have married her.

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 10 points 14 hours ago

Don't threaten me with a good time!

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 8 points 13 hours ago

My wife and I discussed something along these lines today. She said I would probably enjoy a nerdy gamer girl. I told her I'd end up pretty much like the sloth demon victim, completely unchallenged and lazy.

That's not to say a female gamer couldn't be a fulfilling, awesome girlfriend for anyone, but I know it wouldn't be ideal for me.

[–] billwashere@lemmy.world 12 points 16 hours ago

Demon? Dude this sounds like heaven.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 10 points 16 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago)

isn't the embodiement of the sin

So it's not actually a giant sloth with big titties like I was imagining? 😩

This sounds like a big win. I wasn't going to cure cancer or be president anyway. At least with the sloth demon, I don't have to worry about having a job to pay my bills. The demon's got it covered.

[–] Mustakrakish@lemmy.world 27 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

This implies your only worth as a human is what you produce or "accomplish" by other's standards. It's not for me personally, but there's very much validity in a life spent enjoying life, and not just for a future success.

[–] Kowowow@lemmy.ca 9 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 16 hours ago) (1 children)

still if they are targeted they could derail human achievement, promising nasa worker? too bad you got slothed

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 20 hours ago

Explains my life tbh

[–] Predalien@sh.itjust.works 5 points 16 hours ago

Doesn't this imply that the world would progress as nornal, just with demons taking care of everything and all the humans just chilling at home? (Assuming the demon actually works and doesn't just conjure up whatever it needs to take care of you)

[–] Benchamoneh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 16 hours ago

I'll take this one for the team, please send this demon to me.

[–] thaddaevs@lemmy.world 5 points 16 hours ago

Being the president isn't that a good thing these days... Just saying... 😬

[–] Frostbeard@lemmy.world 17 points 23 hours ago

Thats called a Blerch.

https://theoatmeal.com/comics/running

Eat the whole cake, eat the whole goddamn thing. You earned it somehow

[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 38 points 1 day ago (4 children)

I feel like a sloth demon would take it a step further. You'd be enticed to napping, until one day you wake up from a nap, your face is wrinkled, every one of your friends has forgotten you, you're alone with only the sloth demon. Your life has been wasted away lying in bed.

Remember that time you said you were gonna travel? You were gonna go to Japan, you said. Too late now. You're too tired, you don't have any money. All you have is the Sloth Demon.

One day, your girlfriend calls you for your third nap of the day, and little do you know, you won't be awakening from that nap.

Your funeral has no attendees, at most you're a minor headline on a social media post about mental health. Your girlfriend? Gone, gone to find her next victim. Sloth Demons may not go through as many victims as their lustful cousins, but they get every last morsel out of them.

[–] PyroNeurosis@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 18 hours ago

Remember that time you said you were gonna travel? You were gonna go to Japan, you said. Too late now. You're too tired, you don't have any money. All you have is the Sloth Demon.

That's the wombo combo of depression and poverty.

[–] lka1988@sh.itjust.works 3 points 17 hours ago

So, an energy vampire

[–] Shanmugha@lemmy.world 4 points 18 hours ago

Now that is worth being scared of. Thank you

[–] RisingSwell@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

You write that as if it's abad thing but I'm sold already

[–] RedFrank24@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

Demons are meant to be tempting!

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 4 points 19 hours ago

It's all I've ever wanted

[–] Coolbeanschilly@lemmy.ca 129 points 1 day ago

"If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would be a merrier world." - J.R.R. Tolkien

[–] Phoenix3875@lemmy.world 34 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Isn't that what the paradise supposed to be?

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Kind of sounds like succubi.

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

Slaanesh's sixth circle of seduction: indolency.

[–] dumbass@quokk.au 83 points 1 day ago (2 children)

I'll volunteer to keep y'all safe from this demon.

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 44 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] dumbass@quokk.au 24 points 1 day ago

Yeah and the line starts behind me, friend.

[–] assembly@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Are doing like a lottery selection or some time of raffle for this?

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[–] FartMaster69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 1 day ago

Thanks doom guy.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 39 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

Not trying to play the virtuous superbeing here, just trying to get some perspective: am I the only one who finds such relationships... draining? I mean, I like being offered attention and affection, a lot! But this type of relationship feels like having helicopter parents, overbearing.

The occasional surprise meal, or doing the cleaning alone when I'm sick and melting are all fine and dandy in my book, as long as it's not a constant occurrence and reciprocation is involved - I like returning favours, almost more than I do receiving them.

Again, not trying to virtue signal, I want to understand if this is part of my avoidant bits, or if it's part of the usual spectrum. Childhood-long fuckery requires lifelong study, apparently.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

all this means is you're more well-adjusted than the average 4chan user.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 10 hours ago

Given the horrors I've seen during my online horror tourism days, I'll gladly take it!=))))

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Honestly, people on here would find this hot/great for like a day, maybe a week max. If it goes on more than that, the negative side effects will kick in.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

I know for a fact that it's how it'd happen for me, yes. With a hefty amount of anticipatory "oh, no... oh, I think I know where this is going..."

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 6 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

It's infantilizing. I would never treat a grown man that way, nor would I live with a guy who expected to be 'taken care of' to that extent. It implies a lack of trust in your ability to take care of yourself. I want a partner, not another child to take care of!

You are average in this, I would say.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 21 hours ago

Thank you! It genuinely is a load off my mind now that it's clear I'm not off the mark with this one!:))

And that's exactly it! Partnership, and that implies equal give and take on both sides (with compassionately compensating for one another when really needed)!

And very well said in terms of trusting one another to be capable of taking care of themselves! Worst case scenario, if it happens that the methods of approaching the same task vary greatly between the two parties (talking about how one washes the dishes, not how often, for example), these things can always be mitigated through clear and open discussion! This is also comes down to trust, as I see it.

Thanks so much once again! Sanity check complete with zero errors!❤️

[–] drosophila@lemmy.blahaj.zone 27 points 1 day ago (3 children)

I mean, if we're making up a story about a kind of demon it probably shouldn't be a healthy relationship.

A succubus sucks your soul out through your crotch, which feels great until it doesn't. That's why its supposed to be a scary monster.

The post says, "until you die of natural causes", but for a counterpart to a succubus I think it would much more appropriate if it was able supernaturally influence you to reduce your worries and make you more and more dependent on it (just as a succubus can supernaturally charm its victims). Gradually you care about less and less as you lose all motivation, and at the end you don't even bother to struggle as your soul is ripped from your body.

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[–] sunflowercowboy@feddit.org 4 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

To answer your question, yes, they are draining.

Why? Well you are living with another, who was not raised like you, live like you, or grew like you. Completely different and in each of these minutiae of differences you can find issues. Essentially it works in tandem with expectations and why they are still wanted.

It gives you emotional comfort, it gives you physical comfort, and above all else you start to form a union. Something so uniquely both of you that you have changed and so have they, in ways you couldn't imagine alone. You no longer feel isolated in your mind.

It is your parent and your child. Someone you will care for, and someone who will care for you. It keeps you grounded from flying to high, keeps your mind to consider someone before yourself.

The benefit is the world becoming dominable, while nothing has really changed. A partner is a helicopter parent because you tell them who you are and what you want, they just remind you of your own expectations and keep you faithful to it.

They are just a mirror of your own wants, needs, and wishes. So it is your own actions and words that will reflect.

If it is draining, it is because you have not interacted enough with the world to realize you are always being drained. Finding something of meaning to pour into becomes fantastically magical. Suddenly you are no longer drained, it is a willful action to pour and be captured by a vessel of your choosing.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 19 hours ago

These types of comments is why I conseder lemmy to be the best of social media.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 23 hours ago* (last edited 23 hours ago) (1 children)

Oh, I think there's a misunderstanding, I wasn't referring to relationships in general, only the ones where one of the partners is expected/insists on doing all of the household/caretaking tasks by themselves, those I find overbearing and draining - the ones where, for whatever reason, one partner exclusively acts as a parent for the other.

Relationships overall, quite the contrary! I generally find them fulfilling, although I show a tendency to seek familiarity, which means unhealthy dynamics and, frequently, unpleasant endings... That's 75% on me and my still-mending patterns (because I am aware there are many manipulators who specifically seek out their targets).

And I don't find the world in general draining, either! What drains me is hate, greed, bigotry, xenophobia of all shapes and sizes, everything driving some of our species to commit horrible acts. But to say that the world in general drains me is to be unfair to the myriad people who are beacons of wisdom, who have that particular spark which lights up a whole room, those who can see even the tiniest details and set them into wonderfully intricate webs of causality!

Not just that, but the world itself is wondrous! I cannot but feel recharged when I see a starry night sky, or a warm summer sunset, sit and listen to the waves crashing against the shore, or just lose myself for hours in meditation listening to rain pattering over everything around me!

[–] sunflowercowboy@feddit.org 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

It fills me to the brim to know you can see the way your cup fills at the marvel of our stars, at the patience within your meditation.

Relationships like this can be draining because you wish to compensate or match somehow. So it creates almost a directionless frustration of inadequacy.

It is how I felt when my love would work 2 jobs and I had so much time and couldn't really do chores because of my upbringing. Making it a threshold I had to cross as an adult.

[–] latenightnoir@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago) (1 children)

Ooh, I wouldn't consider that a parent-partner type of relationship, sounds like there were some solid reasons for that unbalanced distribution! At least, that's how I would see it, with the context of my upbringing having left me with several deficiencies in other areas of my psyche. They can be hard thresholds to cross, objectively speaking.

As for the frustration, as I understand it from this context, it was generated not by being coddled/babied, but by wanting and being unable. To me, it all comes down to intent. If a person wants to [something] but they can't [something] due to stuff like health issues (physical or psychological), then that's a completely different type of situation, it's part of those objective incapacitators which I've mentioned in my initial comment.

To me, this is perfectly understandable and acceptable as long as it's clear that my partner truly wants to try to rebalance everything. It's when these types of blockers are constantly being used as an excuse, yet nothing is done to try to get through them that I see as a problem, because it basically means said person isn't interested in participating from the start.

Either way, I'm sorry you had to go through that... I know how difficult it can be to want to do something, but to not be allowed to do so by our own brain...

[–] sunflowercowboy@feddit.org 1 points 4 hours ago

Your words are kind and sweet. Thank you.

It does always come down to want as cause for any suffering.

[–] QueenHawlSera@sh.itjust.works 45 points 1 day ago

This is just a succubus with extra steps

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