Ask Lemmy

I started using LeechBlock to limit the amount of time spent on social media including lemmy, it's been really helpful. Inspired by this video. Has helped me.

Find a way to help that connects with who you are. I pick up litter at the park. I can't fix the worlds problems but don't have to look at the same fast food packet every day for a week whenever I walk my dog.

Yes, I built a company from nothing over the past decade and it’s all I can do now to make myself go into the shop and do what I used to love to do.

The only thing that has helped is dedicated, disciplined study of political theory and history combined with direct action informed by that knowledge with a group of similarly-minded revolutionaries. Let this radicalize you, not lead you to despair.

You could try to get into a hobby. Something to pour some money into, an interest you won’t stop babbling about. Become a geek in something, anything. Is there something from your youth you enjoyed? To get your head completely fixiated on that topic?

I mean, you can’t do anything against what Trump does, so why not just ignore it and deal with the consequences once they arrive? It’s not like anyone can change his mind - better save that energy and brain power and use it somewhere else.

The point I would like to get to is that nobody can change what Trump will do, the only way is to deal with the consequences of his actions.

Personally, I was in the same situation as you a few years ago. I was in complete despair, burned out by the sheer pressure of the ever changing political landscape, always slipping bit by bit closer to fascism. Thankfully, a friend pulled me out of it by making me engage with local political organizations. I joined a marxist group, read a lot on political theory and on history. Only then I realized that what I was fearing the most was the unpredictable. But it doesn't have to be like that. The more I expanded my knowledge in terms of history, economics, and politics, the more I felt like I at least knew what to expect, that I was somewhat in control of my fear. Don't get me wrong, I still dread the future, but all that I can say now is that at least I now somewhat know what the future brings. And while my outlook still stays bleak, having an understanding of what's happening around you lets you have a more rational and hands down approach towards your fears. Also, engaging politically at a local level helps a lot too. You can make an impact and see things changing for the better at least in your direct vicinity.

Come join me in Azeroth. There is no politics in Barrens chat. Only pain.

I feel like your issue is that you're not probably giving yourself space.

Being active is good, it's healthy. However, that's not what you need. What you need is a break. You need a break from politics and social media. You need to have a complete reset mentally, and the way to do that is to shut off all the noise and spend at least a month living your life without any social media. Like actually take the steps to block all the social media apps/sites for all your devices. That means no Lemmy, no Reddit, no Discord, no Instagram, no Facebook, nothing.

You also need to talk with your girlfriend and tell her to stop talking about politics with you full stop, perhaps this would be good for her as well, but I digress. You need to explain to her as well as understand yourself that this is a serious boundary that you need to have for your well being. You're aware that doomscrolling and social media are bad for you, however, you need to take action to give yourself the break that you need.

Here's a book about people describing similar experiences during the nazification of another country, it's called They Thought They Were Free. I'm going to spoiler a link to a copy so it doesn't autoload a swastika on our cool people board. This book isn't about politics, it's about how it feels when your country falls to fascism.

I've found it comforting to embrace the inevitability of my death. People are afraid of fascism, climate change, nuclear war, terrorism, mass shootings, car accidents and fire becausebthey personally fear violent death. Simply throw your hands up and say "I will die - and theres nothing I can do about it"

If your concern is more abstract, such as a fear for the downfall of the American republic, I would say that we're all a little too old to be believing in fairy tales

That goofy, fun loving person that I remember I used to be is now replaced with a quiet, cynical shut in. My dream of living in a house I own is forever gone. Debt, disease in the family, the onset of potential wars, and the cost of just being alive have pushed that fun loving person down into a deep dark hole. I used to live in fear of the world ending in fire but now, as fucked up as it may sound, I kind of sympathize with the villains in movies. The world has gotten to the point, in my opinion, that shit needs to burn to make way for a new world. This world is just too fucked up beyond repair. It needs a hard reset. So, you're not alone. The mental health has taken a nose dive and hit every branch of the ugly tree on its way down.

You are NOT ALONE.

There has been a fucking epidemic of mental unwellness cascading since November.

We are all dealing with this, you are NOT alone.

This is a known and statistically verified fact.

What you are feeling is a normal response to a clear and present danger. If anything, your reaction is rational.

Fucking stay strong, we in this together, those of us who know, know, and we watch out for our fellow brothers and sisters.

You are not forgotten, you are not left behind, we are all just regrouping. Your emotions are valid, yes, this is real, this is not a drill, reality is in a state of emergency, and you are not insane.

Ok?

❤️

I have basically felt that the future was all down hill 10 years ago. Nothing has convinced me otherwise. Thats why I stay in my own little bubble and try to disconnect from the happenings. There is no point raging about what we can't change.

My wife had me block CNN at the network level to stop her reading all the news and becoming depressed.

I have a hard time watching the news now too. News outlets only show "good news" which is the administration succeeding, which hurts. I want stories of hope.

This administration ends the same way Mussolini's did.

The way we prevent it from happening in the future is to force wealth equality.

I remember waking up like the morning after election day in 2016 and was shocked why a competent woman lost against some bussinessman who was never in politics (this was way before I fully understood politics), I was rooting for Hillary to become the first woman president, I was already feeling very egalitarian at the time, and also because she's a Democrat. Also because I immigrated to the US, so I naturally root for the more pro-immigration candidate. So yea I heard the news that Hillary lost despite having more votes, thats around the time I learned about the electoral college and that felt like bullshit. Luckily, I had derivative citizenship at the time, so I didn't really think too deep.

But now this 2nd term is honestly terrifying. both the 2020 and 2024 election nights was just filled with dread, and now that fear has become a reality, doesn't feel remotely to the first term.

Anyways, now my brain is so scrambled like an egg. Idk wtf is life anymore. Kinda having an "identity crisis" about my nationality/citizenship because that thought of potentially being deported is constantly lingering on the back of my mind ever since 2024 the morning following election night after the results were announced. I mean if I lose my citizenship, I'm gonna look so silly for ever refering to myself as an "American". That's like saying you're part of the family, then your parents removes you from the will.

Oh yea I have no other citizenship. My previous country does no do dual citizenship, and its a dictatorship. Funny how I'm running from one dictatorship right into another. 🙃

Depression definitely does not mix well with political instability/autocratization.

You are struggling with the circle of concern. You're spending time worrying about things that concern you but that you can't change. You will feel better if you focus on things you can directly control or things you can influence.

So look more local. DO something positive in your community. It will help you feel grounded and effective.

I go to local protests, donate to the local food bank, etc. Even just showing up with intent feels positive. Heck, go to the library. Showing up helps their numbers and helps their funding.

Personally I've lost a lot of my identity as an American and as a human being as a result of the past 10 years. Donald Trump's presidency and COVID19 really changed who I am and how I think of the world. As a child I never would've imagined how bad the ignorance is, and how willfully people dig themselves into it. I've realized truth is merely an illusion.

What America was sold to me as a child; the greatest free nation to ever exist, the bastion of democracy and protector of the world turned out to be a complete lie. Turns out we were the perpetrators, the slavemasters, the financial dominators, and the war mongers the whole time. I look at my fellow citizens and I can't see the commonalities anymore. I don't know what to believe at this point. I'm not sure if there's much worth believing in.

Lately I've just been adrift, letting the motions wash over me. Drugs are a lousy blanket.

I feel this deeply. Others have said it already, but the thing that's helped me the most is getting involved with the solution. Local community organizing, mutual aid groups, political candidates in your area, etc etc etc there are many options (and feel free to message me if you want more help finding them) and nothing felt ok until I could feel like I was doing something other than passively sitting around watching the country/world collapse.

Others have also said closing off news and social media. This is also a good step, but I would caution against doing so 100%. Maybe set aside a day or two a week where you get caught up for an hour or two then turn it off the rest of the time. It's still important to be aware, particularly as the suffering is becoming more and more local and ubiquitous, but it definitely becomes all consuming if done too much.

You sound like an empathetic person, and people like you are needed to help drive change. Fascism won't go away in it's own or with one more election cycle to vote it out. The upshot is most organizing and community strengthing efforts are just generally positive for mental health in their own right and may lead and may lead to new friendships and activities that you enjoy

I think you have to take a real sit down with your girlfriend and try to explain this with her. I know she just wants to commiserate with someone, but if it's damaging your mental health then it might be a better idea for her to find another political outlet.

You're not alone. The shock of 2016, and seeing some of my friends celebrating the result, sent me into a spiral. Get to a therapist, because honestly your reaction is completely rational but you're going to need tools to stop it consuming you.

Your girlfriend sounds like she wants to connect with you and doesn’t know how to except for something you mutually agree on. Maybe work with her to find something else to connect with each other on?

Stop following news. I've blocked news and politics related stuff on Lemmy too.

Also speak to your girlfriend. I'm not on any mainstream social media. My wife loves watching war atrocities on her social media feed and gossip drama. It has taken years for her to accept I don't want to see that shit.

I'm going to lightly disagree with most of the comments in this post. The states (likely the world) is getting ready for a big transition. I don't think that's something that can (or should tbh) be ignored. As in, cutting yourself off from the news completely isn't a realistic way to get closer to that peace you're looking for. I think the way to keep the dread from consuming you is to know that you're doing your part in countering bad actors.

That doesn't mean you have to become a freedom fighter or a protest organizer. I like what the guy with the goats was talking about in connecting with his community. Or you can volunteer with an organization that brings food to the homeless or whatever. Maybe start a community garden (or edible forest). Something big or small that helps you feel you're making the world a better place even just in your own little piece of it, even if you limit to a day or two each week.

Then the bad news becomes a little easier to cope with. Because even though you're never going fix the world by yourself (that can only happen collectively), at least you know you're doing what you can to help. At least for me, that helps the noise quiet down enough to take the time to get lost in a book or something.

ever since Trump got elected in November, my mental health has been slipping.

Trump is a symptom. He (it?) is not the disease.

Try not to fixate too much on the dude, the issue is in how such a frustrated illiterate racist could ever be elected and, even more: how was he able to become a candidate to begin with? That's the real issue. Not that he is an asshole. There are plenty assholes, in the USA as well as in all other democracies around the world. The issue is when those illiterate assholes are being considered worthy leaders... by the electors in those democracies.

I know doomscrolling makes it worse.

It sure does. I'm not US and I don't doomscroll. Ever. There is nothing that is that urgent/important that I should stay in the loop real time. Heck, I even started reading print newspapers again, almost 20 years after I gave up on them so I'm able to take some more time to digest the news. And even there, I filter out most of what I consider mere noise and not real information.

I told my wife flat out to not talk to me about news or politics at all unless it was good news. It took a few weeks to get it to sink in, but she's stopped. I do keep up in small doses so I'm not completely shut off, but I get headlines a couple of times a week, not dozens daily. Set a boundary and either she respects it or you tell her it's time to move on.

I got involved with my hyper-local community. Like 3 blocks around my house. I walk my goats almost everyday and make sure to chat to all my neighbors. I tell and share good news with them; recipes, gardening, weather, Halloween plans, whatever. If they start in with doom shit, I just gently redirect them. "Yeah, I saw that but dude, I found a place down the street that has the best cookies." Again, it took a bit but they've started to get it. We don't have to focus on the shit. We can be aware of it but it doesn't have to be central to everything. One neighbor and I are going to start a block party movie night. I do dumb thing while walking too. Pick up trash, straighten other people's yard signs, move trash/recycling cans back to the yard side when empty. Little shit that just makes other peoples lives a tiny bit better. That stuff is contagious too.

Another thing that's helped is my core friend group. We were already a bunch of nerds, but now we have like 3 rpg games going. Not all of them are regular, but it's a way to tune out without shutting down. There is a spoken agreement that we keep real life shit out of our sessions and they're just for unwinding and living a fantasy for a bit.

Oh I just added filters to everything to filter out anything with trump, musk, republican, maga, nazi, etc etc etc etc. after adding about 100 key words, I just dont see any of that shit anymore. Completely tuning it all out has done wonders for my mental health.

Feeling enraged and helpless all day every day is pointless, the only one that loses is you. So, I decided to tune all that noise out completely, and focus on things I can control- activities with family, house projects, hobbies, collections, friends, work.

I’m pretty much back to normal after months of desperation. I’m in a place now where seeing the occasional thing that slips through my filters doesn’t ruin my entire day because I’m not constantly at rock bottom anymore.

TLDR; stop following and worrying about things you cannot control. Tune that out and focus on the rest of your life!

trauma bonding is a real thing and victims sometimes seek out content to continue traumatization.

your gf is likely seeking comfort through the trauma of current events. since you're both seeking the same thing (comfort) but through different methods you should take the initiative and invite her over to spend time together. set boundaries on what you will and will not talk about though. if she can't follow your needs then you might want to reconsider the relationship.

there's no reason to sacrifice your own mental health for someone who refuses to consider your emotional state.

One option is to get involved with fairvote. I was in the US for the election and it felt good to be doing something about the underlying systemic issue that made this so much worse in the US.

Get off anything news related and tell your girlfriend to knock it off. My wife used to send things or bring it up in conversation, and I tell her I don't want to discuss any of this, because it pisses me off. It's extremely selfish of your girlfriend to continue to send things after you've expressed your desire to not receive it.

You're not alone OP, I'm in a similar boat. If I may make some suggestions, talk to your girlfriend again. Let her know how bad it is for you right now. Hopefully she listens and tries to support you in ways that helps.

Second, you should really consider a psychiatrist and therapy if you can afford it. (I'm going to assume you're in the US). The Open Path Collective is a low cost network of therapists. You pay a one time membership fee and then sessions range from $30 to a maximum of $70. And Psychology Today has a psychiatrist finder thing that has all sorts of filters to find a psychiatrist that's right for you, including low cost options. They can help you find a medication that's right for you.

I know people talk a lot of shit about antidepressants (and to an extent, I agree with a lot of the criticisms) but it's undeniable that they do help take the edge off. When you're on a good one, all it does is pluck the depression out of your brain, it's a very subtle feeling but it makes a world of difference.

Lastly, I would suggest that you try getting active in your community. Find an organization that aligns with your politics, or is doing work that you feel is important and just show up to a meeting/public event they're having. It's very likely they need the help and would take you in with open arms. There's a degree of fulfillment and relief that comes with being able to do good for those around you and actually seeing the results that medication can't provide. Food Not Bombs is a pretty ubiquitous organization that focuses on feeding the homeless. My local FNB also sets up a free store and we have a bicycle mechanic that does free maintenance for our neighbors. If cooking isn't your forte, there's always something else you could do to make a difference.

You have every reason to feel depressed right now OP. But I hope you're able to improve your situation and work towards healing. Take care

Just an advice: tell your gf you really don't want to read it, that you need a break and that you mean it. Either she respects that or you need to find a new gf, preferably one who respects boundaries.