Humor, jokes, memes about TTRPGs
DM: The enemy champion approaches. He is eight feet tall, fully armored, and a seasoned warrior.
David: I select my sling.
DM: Okay, so that does 1d4 bludgeoning damage--
David: Hang on, let me tell you about all my buffs and saved up Holy Favor points...
DM: -___-
A real sling shoots those pebbles like a bullet. If they hit (a non armored spot), it'd surely do more damage than an arrow.
In the hands of a skilled slinger, they are no joke at all.
There's a badass scene in the book This Immortal where a guy kills another guy with a sling.
Slingers were a separate set of ranged troops for the roman armies.
I can't recall precisely where I read it but what made slingers so deadly was their capacity to aim with precision on very small targets, unlike archers that would generally send arrow volleys in almost a suppression fire mode. A slinger could aim for the head, arms, eyes or joints for cripling or even deadly hits.
Slingers often used lead to create "bullets" by just smelting it over a camp fire, making holes on a patch of sand with the tip of a finger, and pouring the molten metal in. A volley of these small, extremely dense but compact and deadly projectiles would wreck havoc on enemy lines or could be used to target commanders to break the chain of command and demoralize troops.
There's a similar story in the bible!
NO WAY!!
There's a badass scene in the Bible where David kills a giant with a sling.
Fury of the Small
He is actually 9 feet 9 inches tall.
I lost it at "ELISHA YES!"
On a related note, I once read a nice DnD-esque summary of why Jesus was a Lich - that would fit right into this collection. (not my own pic or theory, just something I stole from imgur ... still sorry for the missing pixels)
Of course. The Holy Grail was a phylactery all along.
The Romans played right into his hands by crucifying him, the fools.
No.
"Drink of my blood" "Eat of my body"
This guy made 12 living phylacteries.
Horcruxes if you will.
Seriously though, why did Jesus curse that fig tree? He could be weirdly petty.
BTW, myrrh had lots of uses besides embalming.
I always understood it to be that things exist to be fruitful and multiply. In a sense, a person who does not love, who doesn’t multiply goodness in the world as Jesus modeled, was like the fig tree. Such things could be thought of as cursed, withered and twisted versions of what they could and should be.
I am not a Bible scholar though lol.
So it could be explained that Jesus is a carpenter but not a gardener, and a gardener just look at Jesus and wondering why the heck an adult would curse a fig tree.
I saw a guy waving a sign to spread awareness, "God Hates Figs"
Or something like that
The understanding I've generally heard, and which seems supported by the context, is that the fig tree symbolises the unfruitfulness of God's people. This is particularly apparent in that both Matthew and Mark record it as happening alongside Jesus casting out people trading in the temple (Luke records the cleansing of the temple but not the fig tree thing). It is then followed by Jesus telling a series of parables against the religious leaders. There may also be a relation to the parable of the barren fig tree earlier on in Luke 13.
What is this, a meme for ants?!
LOL, after I commented it reloaded with higher resolution.
Startrek.Website has been a bit sluggish the past day or so. Not super surprised the bigger images are taking a hot second to filter through. Sorry!
Cute. I'm genuinely unfamiliar with the story of Solomon and the demon. I'd be interested to hear the story behind that.
Soloman is friends with some guy who had half his pay stolen by a demon and it keeps sucking his thumb. So Soloman is given a ring with a pentagram on it by Michael that can command demons. He commands thumb sucking demon to get Beelzebub and Solomon enslaves him. Now Solomon controls all demons and uses them to build a temple.
Got that from the wiki page for Testament of Solomon, there's more to it if you're interested.
So he's a warlock, that found the fine print in the contract that fucks over the demon?
Nice
This pic is too pixelated to read it
Everytime someone posts a really long image it's heavily pixelated, and I thought it was just a me issue.
Edit: turns out you need to change your ap options to load HQ image. Works now
I recently learned that most of the aps people use for lemmy don't do formatting correctly. The ~these~ ~words~ look like they have a strike through on whichever ap you are using, let the developer know that ~word~ should be subscript, and that ~~word~~ is strike through.
If you go into the post and open the picture it opens in good quality. There's an issue with previews not loading properly sometimes.
Roll athletics to yeet the baby
And so Jochebed yote the child, and it did go between the uprights; and it was good.
DM means Dios Mío
Today I learned that God gave bald people the power to summon bears
I learned that in first grade Bible class. We were team bear guy.
Druids man. They are OP, and they are all either too hairy or too lacking in hair, or both.
Ah I was missing r/dankchristianmemes thank you
Argh, I know it’s my app but this is too blurry to read. Looks like fun tho.
I had to disable this setting:
Settings shortcut: Media > Zoomable video
Keep in mind that you also will probably have to back out and reopen the post to get around the cached image
Mine too. Open in browser https://startrek.website/pictrs/image/ce3c437f-0c97-4093-9ad0-68d5addbb17f.jpeg
funniest thing i've seen in a while
TIL that Solomon can summon demon
DM: After dinner, a group of thugs approach the house and knock on the door. They want to give you a "proper welcome"
Levite: The fuck...
DM: They really fancied your ass.
Levite, getting up to leave the session: You know what? Fuck you. But fuck the guest's daughter first, then the concubine, then you can go fuck yourself, too, you sick fuck, I'm out.
Judges 19, for anyone curious. Shit gets real dark.
Less "you botched your persuasion rolls," more "I set the DC to 50 and we don't do critical skill checks at this table"
Such a weird coincidence, I am listening to the Apocalypse Players, A Christmas Inheritance and they referenced 2 Kings 2 23-24. Not even in an off hand manner, it's key plot point in the story.
I will see you after my excommunication.
I see no blasphemy, but Catholics gonna Catholic I guess.
