askchapo

Actual conversation between me and my parents

Me: I'm nonbinary

Them: So you're gay?

Me: Sort of, but that's not what this is about

Dad: Wait, so are you getting the transgenders?

Me: No, this isn't that either, I'm just nonbinary

Mom: So, are you still marrying [your partner]?

Me: No, mama, but we weren't gonna get married anyway

Dad: Okay, so what does this nonbinary mean?

Mom: You're not gonna get surgery are you?

Me: Okay, look, you know the old Almond Joy commercial? Sometimes you feel like a nut? Sometimes you don't?

I don't, I do not feel like a nut, I am not any kind of nut

Dad: You said you weren't gonna get surgery

Me:

i'd try to explain agender first and then be like "there's a smooth gradient between all three things, like colors turning from whatever to whatever else. it's an oversimplification but boomers are simple folk.

or like, ask them what gender some asexually reproducing animal is.

Gonna be honest, even after chilling with yall for like 2 years I still don't fully understand how it works.

I do my best to quickly differentiate sex from gender as a biology versus largely social definition and try to mention the examples of a 'third gender' across many cultures before they can reach for a shotgun and Bible.

Ma, remember when you got hired by IBM back in the 70s to punch 0s and 1s into paper cards and got paid a livable wage to buy us a house? Imagine all that, but you also punch 2s on the paper card every now and then.

I want to be seen for who I am. Words like man and woman, and the expectations that come with them, do nothing but get in the way of that.

i saw a tumblr post about this exact thing...

"it means a person who doesnt associate with a specific binary gender aka man/woman. its kinda like a third gender." if they can't understand that it's probably not worth the time because clearly they are fucking stupid.

"fuck the rules I do what I want"

Watch Namona.