I've been playing on Wednesday nights with my regular group for multiple years now. It helps that we have a regular time and it's not a high activity day. However, it took a little while for my spouse to get used to it. Also it helps that we're flexible as a group. We play if 1 player is missing and will cancel / reschedule for vacations. Some of these cancels are non cannon play or other games.

So flexibility really helps.

My group plays on one Friday evening each month. It's not much, but as we are all grown ups with families it's just about what we can spare in out lives.

So I would probably move the game to a non-weekend evening and maybe just have 1 per month. If your wife can't accept that she might as well be telling you to stop playing all together.

I don’t play on weekends. There’s always something that gets in the way. Fridays are okish, but Saturdays are murder.

Our group plays Sunday evening twice a week and thats worked out pretty well since its the end of the weekend. Grant it only two of us are married and the other married guy is the only one with kids though. Maybe the end of the weekend would be a better time?

We also just keep playing if someone has a vacation planed. Their character earns half xp and is basically in town or at the tavern in game. Would something like that work for your group? That might help eliminate some of her frustration when trying to plan family events.

Don't play on Saturdays.

I've played with the same group for 7 years, almost every Friday, but we do take some weeks off here and there for family/work/etc. My wife is accommodating, but it was taking a toll since we do love hanging out with each other. Then, a couple of years ago, we invited her to play again, and she actually did. Now she's part of the group, and we are all having a blast on Friday nights. Lucky situation, I grant you that, but achievable.

Family vacations should definitely take priority. I know it's hard when you have a whole group depending on you, but it sounds like you're being inflexible in a way that is putting a burden on your partner.

My partner is in my group. That's the best solution

My group is almost exclusively dads with fulltime jobs. We play remote (FoundryVTT), run one game a week that runs between 2 and 4 hours.

Full disclosure I'll say that remote is about 85% as good as playing in person, but I'll take 80% and easy scheduling over 100% but constant missed games or conflicts

My group is all parents, aside from one who's a very paternal uncle. We've always played mostly Monday or Tuesday nights, starting after bedtimes for ages where that requires active involvement (often going later than we probably should).

We switch nights up when needed, like when a spouse takes a class or has some other recurring activity.

It helps that we're mostly all parents and spouses so we have very similar concerns and no one gets fussy when someone needs accommodations.