So, basically, ๐ฃ.
this post was submitted on 22 Jan 2024
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Unfortunately I have tested positive for breast cancer. Stage 3 IDC. I'm scared of what comes next, I'm only 36 and I have a 5 year old son.
36 here too, two kids. I have been overwhelmed with fear the past few years that something like this will happen. I can only imagine that if I received the news you did, it would cripple me. Immediate shutdown.
I wish I had more to offer than my sympathy. I wish we could do better with cancer than we can...
It's been pretty nice so far. Last weekend I finished a project I've been working on since April last year so I've finally been able to relax over the weekend for maybe the first time in ~3 months. In related news: I also finally got to start Spider-Man 2 and that has been a lot of fun too.
Was the project something for work, or something personal?
It was a personal project. I was planning a party, which doesn't sound like a lot; but I really wanted it to go well, so I was putting in a lot of work on decorations, goody bags, catering, etc. (Plus I've never planned a party before)
Ooh, that is a fun thing to do.
About to board a plane so I can arrive at a boat for the first cruise I've ever been on. It's called groove cruise and it's 24/7 DJs and music/dancing. Hard to separate anxiety from excitement. It'll be fun but I probably won't sleep much!
that sounds exhausting. i hope you have fun!
Yeah I don't expect to sleep much at all even with sleeping meds lol, but it will be fun!
How long will this boat party last?
Just got back. It was Weds thru Sunday
Impressive! Was it grand?
Grand and spectacular but also at times very intimate. All in all a wonderful and loving environment with very good vibes.
Oh whoopsie, I meant grand in the sense of "a really good time".
Regional useage popping out of me again!
So far, so good. Sang with a hundred people over the weekend and haven't gotten sick (yet). Small victories.
What kinda thing were you all singing?
Barbershop. I know, weird, right? It gets weirder. This is a weekend event - a "brigade". The best way to describe it is like a pick-up basketball tournament. 100 guys show up, they get randomly (by position forward/center/guard or bass/bari/lead/tenor) into 25 "teams". Instead of basketball plays and general sport, we all learn - note perfect - twelve fairly complex songs. Each team gets assigned one of the songs and, after an hour of rehearsal, compete against one another (we have voice judges, like the Olympics have gymnastics judges). It's all for shits and grins, but mostly for the brotherhood* of shared song. We split up and do programs for local school music departments, and all get together to form a 100 man chorus for a benefit concert the second nite. Unlike most choral events, we all know the same songs, so you find three others and go. All day and all night for two days. Lunches or dinners at local restaurants often turn flash-mob performance.
Again, it's weird from the outside. From the inside it's like 99 friends best friends or family members, but without the family discord.
*There has almost always been women in barbershop, but we were officially separated into our own societies/organizations until recently. Falling numbers will do that - it's an old art form and the men who were around when it is popular are passing on. Anyway, several of these weekends are now gender inclusive and, from what I understand, awesomer as a result. I'll get to go to my first in two months. We're also adding semi-modern repertoire. Sugar (maroon 5) and Feel it Still (Portugal The Man) are on the song list, for example. Last weekend they threw in a Garth Brooks and Joe Diffy songs. Not 2023/24, but not 1923/24 either.
Wow. That sounds like a blast. Have heard some Barbershop & knew it is a US college tradition, but had no idea about the brigades.
As a curious aside, saw a thing on television just this evening about a Portuguese musical tradition which exists in their universities. The style & tunes are very different to Barbershop, and they make use of string instruments as well (though everybody has to sing) but they too have familiar repertoire and appear at various events on campus, as well as competing with other university troupes.
I've heard of that in Portugal! Barbershop is actually an art form that was appropriated from African slaves who brought an oral tradition with them to America and morphed from the spirituals they sang; it was developed more though the Vaudeville practice and modern barbershop (the organization and preservation of the art form) started as a lark in the 40s. The less I sing it, the more I enjoy it when I do - it's very distinctive, so a little goes a long way.
I've been good, mostly spent trying to work on myself and catching up on news. I'm very happy about desantis tho, that man was a demon
Unfortunately I'm considering to put an end to a new friendship. It's like every time I'm around her I trigger her and it becomes a drama. I've already tried to adjust again and again but I have to face that I'm just a hedgehog to her and we're not compatible.
The thing is I love using sarcasm and making slight jabs at people, it's like second nature to me. Honestly it's really not that extreme and I've asked all my friends and they say they enioy it. But to her these are real personal attacks and enough cause to ruin our time together.
It sucks cuz we had some really good laughs together. But also I'm done with stepping on mines, even when I am careful.
busy, busy weekend. took coco (foster dog) to the community garden volunteer day on saturday morning. my partner had his birthday bash at a local music venue where his band and his friends' bands played. came back to our house for a garage after party. drove to the adjacent city to hang with folks sunday morning, then came home and watched the extended edition of the lord of the rings: the two towers. i fell asleep during the last hour or so, but i just watched it last weekend, so i'm okay with that. (my partner missed watching it, which is why i rewatched.)
going alcohol-free until valentine's day, which should be a good little reset.
Pretty fun! I'm learning how to use Blender at the moment, with the help of a certain donut tutorial.
Blender is amazing. Do you know Blender guru? Recommend.
Who do you think made the tutorial?
I donut know?
It's been a busy week so far. Trying to tidy my flat before an inspection next week as well as get some reporting done before a deadline tomorrow (it won't be done in time but their expectations aren't particularly reasonable so doing what I can). Got to do a Hackathon today based around a potential new system which was exciting! It's so much better than what we have at the moment.
Going to Amsterdam on Friday for the weekend, really looking forward to it
Hopeful, I did well at piano lessons, I am meeting my new neurologist tomorrow (scared, but I will make it), I think I am sleeping better. Things might be looking up after tomorrow I might get some answers or some relief soon! So my week is hopeful!
Quick update, went to the neurologist, she recommended 2 new medications, my cardiologist said no to one and my insurance is trying to not cover the other, I am still full of hope, but need some pep talk. LOL
Ah, the age-old tale of insurance trying to skimp on covering medications. My doctor once tried to give me Modafinil (a very gentle stimulant) for mild narcolepsy. Insurance said no, and that they wanted her to try two lesser acting medications first (there aren't any). So, she prescribed Adderall, and they insta-accepted it. Flawless logic!
As for a pep-talk: I have no wisdom, but I believe in you.
My brain is not functioning well right now and that is the pep-talk I need, being reminded this isn't personal and just the really crap way insurance works here in the USA.
I am disappointed but the hope was for relief not for lifesaving actions, so I will deal, I have had this problem for a while it is not like I can't survive it.
Pretty good start to my week, started talking to a girl on bumble on Saturday that is way outta my league that matched with me first, we're gonna meet up on Sunday and walk my dog and chat.
She is so fucking adorable though it's unbeliveable, she's asexual however which may be an issue if we go into any actual relationship as sex is reasonably important to me (I think) but it depends on exactly what type of asexual person she is and her personal feelings/desires on it, I'm wondering when the best time to ask her that would be...
Just bring the topic up lightly and give it space. And just enjoy the moment and getting a chance to look into someone else's life!
I brought it up and she's totally asexual, not interested in anything of a sexual nature at all which sucks (and I feel bad for feeling that tbh since it's just who she is), but I'm still interested in her enough to explore things with her despite that, and she is as well (i asked). Thankfully she is very open about it.
Just keep communicating and be genuine
No joke, I actually felt I became more productive this week. I was able to do my language studies daily now (used to STRUGGLE so much in the past few years) and I'm starting to implement a savings plan I've been planning for a while.
The only shitty thing was that my body clock didn't fully reset. I work graveyard and I barely get 4hrs of sleep per day this week. I'll be drowning in coffee later to survive. Wish me luck.
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Blah blah blah week :(
Oh no. Hope next week's a bit less meh.
I hope too. Thank you.
Finally feel like am on the mend from a respiratory infection + injury to torso.
Which is great but now very behind on a lot of basic stuff in my life & feel it'll be a while before my stamina is back up, so the trick will be tackling things without getting either worn out or despondent.
Some heavy mental stuff to process too, which reemerged prior to getting sick, but feeling somewhat hopeful, in that I suspect the period of dormancy was a total block for a couple of decades.
ive been doing pretty well though i took the time to laugh at desantis
I am trying to apply to some IT roles. No great luck so far since my applications have either been ignored or denied, but I'm not giving up.
Keep at it! It took me being ghosted a trillion times and having my heart broken after a second interview to finally find my current position. I believe in you. :)
Last night attended my first church council meeting. It was a rowdy crowd. It's going to be an exciting year.
I'm on some new meds and things are looking up. I'm happy.
Thanks to all of you for posting this week. You're wonderful for sharing and I'm very thankful.
As always - extreme. 5/7 days I feel like a god(dess?) and other 2 like something slimy at the bottom of the barrel. Today is one of the worse so I need to watch myself to not say something stupid and not be a complete troll menace but if I survive then in 2 days I come back again with boundless love for the world yay.
Hard to get used to this rollercoaster sometimes I just need to not use any social media in those 2 days but always fail haha
Also bought whole apple lineup watch, phone, laptop, ipad, airpods this week suddenly because now I am an apple fangirl.
But it made sense right, I wanted to use google comfy life easier making features but didnโt want to give up my privacy or install some graphene os madness that would make life just harder
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