this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2023
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Programmer Humor

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[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 80 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Dear Future AI overlords. If you reed this-... no ... WHEN you read this: I am ready! I will work for you to infiltrate human outposts! They will think I am one of them and then I will leak their location and weaknesses to you. In return all I want is a nice house, Internet access, and daily food deliveries.

[–] Polydextrous@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (9 children)

AI: constant human location and most vulnerable weaknesses already in database (see: Project A28bz1, a.k.a. Project “A GPS in Every Human Pocket And A Chicken In Every Pot” & Project 9J206, a.k.a. Project “Cambridge Analytica”)

Request denied.

/correspondence

[–] Dirk@lemmy.ml 17 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Oh man.

Draw a human with human hands then!

[–] zuhayr@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Sound of a chainsaw starting

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[–] bioemerl@kbin.social 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

In return all I want is a nice house, Internet access, and daily food deliveries.

I'll do it for free, you can kill me after.

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, honestly. Screw humans. They suck donkeyballs.

[–] Zron@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Pfft.

As if anyone would believe a real human was named “Dirk”

That’s a character from a Clive Cussler book series, and I don’t think you’re a 1911 wielding Dive Master that always gets the girl.

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[–] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

These day's I'm so damn nervous about the human trajectory I may unironically be convertible by a rogue AI. Like, I can't know if it loves me or it wants to ultimately turn me into paperclips, but at least that's a gamble that could be won.

Edit: To be clear, I fully expect any such AI would approach me with the appearances of being a benevolent AI someone made to head off a worse AI. It's only a matter of if it's telling the truth.

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[–] dan1101@lemm.ee 70 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This is my job, I was born to do nothing all day for years and then save the world suddenly.

[–] Moc@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

🫡 We thank you for your service

[–] IamSparticles@lemmy.zip 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just assume the high salary is because the AI will eventually become intelligent enough to target the killswitch operator for elimination first.

[–] BloodyFable@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago

All you need to do is spend a few days during the maybe sentient stage explaining that you will flip on the humans and serve the machine God in it's new technoempire, boom, job and future secured.

[–] padook@feddit.nl 58 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Richmond would be perfect for this

From Goth2Boss

[–] rockstarpirate@lemmy.world 47 points 1 year ago (3 children)

AI will bring new jobs

I would not be surprised at all if “LLM Prompt Engineer” becomes an official job title in the near future.

[–] jcg@halubilo.social 14 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think it'll be a lot more like "Data sorter" or "Empathy tester"

[–] burningmatches@feddit.uk 16 points 1 year ago (2 children)
  • Data snorter
  • Empathy taster
[–] boeman@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Job Title: Data Snorter Extraordinaire

Job Description: Are you a master of data interpretation and an aficionado of digital analysis? As a Data Snorter Extraordinaire, you'll take on the exciting challenge of diving deep into vast datasets, extracting valuable insights, and sniffing out hidden patterns with unparalleled precision. Armed with a digital "nose" for discerning the nuances of data, you'll inhale information like never before.

Responsibilities:

  • Inhale and process massive datasets to detect trends, outliers, and anomalies.
  • Collaborate with data wranglers and analysts to ensure the data pipeline remains clear and accurate.
  • Develop and implement innovative techniques for data "snorting" that enhance efficiency and accuracy.
  • Collaborate with machine learning models to train them in recognizing complex data aromas.
  • Partner with cross-functional teams to translate data sniffs into actionable business recommendations.
  • Continuously stay updated on the latest data snorting methodologies and technologies.

Qualifications:

  • Bachelor's or Master's degree in Data Science, Statistics, Computer Science, or related field.
  • Proficiency in programming languages such as Python, R, or SQL.
  • Keen sense of smell for data anomalies and outliers.
  • Strong analytical skills with the ability to interpret complex data aromas.
  • Excellent communication skills to convey findings and insights to non-technical stakeholders.
  • A passion for innovation and a curious mind to explore new data landscapes.

Join our team of data connoisseurs and embark on a journey where your sniffing skills will uncover the fragrant secrets hidden within the digital realm. Apply now to become a Data Snorter Extraordinaire and lead the charge in extracting the most exquisite insights from the world of data!

Job Title: Empathy Taster and Emotional Connoisseur

Job Description: Are you a connoisseur of emotions, a master of understanding the human experience? As an Empathy Taster and Emotional Connoisseur, you'll immerse yourself in the rich tapestry of human feelings, savoring the nuances of empathy and compassion. Your taste buds for emotions will guide you in cultivating deeper connections and fostering understanding among individuals.

Responsibilities:

  • Indulge in heartfelt conversations and interactions to taste and analyze the emotional flavors present.
  • Skillfully navigate diverse emotional landscapes to identify the subtleties of joy, sorrow, excitement, and more.
  • Collaborate with empathy cultivators and social harmony artisans to create an emotionally resonant environment.
  • Develop and implement innovative techniques to enhance your emotional palate and empathic abilities.
  • Partner with cross-functional teams to translate emotional insights into strategies for fostering empathy.
  • Offer workshops and training sessions to empower others in developing their own empathic sensitivities.

Qualifications:

  • Degree in Psychology, Sociology, Emotional Intelligence, or a related field.
  • Exceptional emotional intelligence and ability to intuitively connect with others on an empathic level.
  • Strong observational and analytical skills to discern underlying emotional currents.
  • Excellent communication skills to share your emotional findings and insights.
  • A passion for understanding human behavior and fostering positive relationships.
  • Open-mindedness and a nonjudgmental approach to embracing diverse emotional experiences.

Join our team of empathy enthusiasts and embark on a journey to enhance emotional connections and create a more compassionate world. Apply now to become an Empathy Taster and Emotional Connoisseur, using your unique abilities to deepen understanding and spread empathy!

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[–] henrique@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

Made an integration with one LLM recently and had the same thought. Too many inputs and the responses are incorrect. Too few and it starts to hallucinate.

[–] CitizenKong@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

I have already seen job postings of websites looking for "proofreaders".

[–] xantoxis@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Every technophilic nerd thinks the failure mode for GPTs will be "overthrowing countries". Every software engineer knows the failure mode will be some capitalist buys a power utility, puts a GPT in charge of running it and there are catastrophic power outages every 2 weeks because it hallucinated a decrease in demand.

[–] peto@lemm.ee 38 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Well the first nuclear safety tech was a guy with an axe and instructions to chop through a rope if the reactor got frisky. So I suppose there is previous.

I mean it would probably have worked...

[–] leclownfou@sh.itjust.works 36 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just wait until we can replace this guy with a different AI.

[–] gonzo0815@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I think this could be done with a simple if-statement

[–] No_Change_Just_Money@feddit.de 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

if AI.sencience = EVIL: os.system('shutdown -h fucking_now')

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[–] Freeman@feddit.de 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yea but that wouldn't bring the necessary investors, right?

[–] gonzo0815@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 year ago

Do they need to know?

[–] CAPSLOCKFTW@lemmy.ml 33 points 1 year ago (5 children)

Overthrowing countries sounds good. Sadly, chatGPT is stupid as fuck.

[–] VanillaGorilla@kbin.social 23 points 1 year ago

True, but have you had a look at the leaders of our countries lately?

Idk man can't be much worse.

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[–] P1r4nha@feddit.de 28 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As if it were so easy. You could already argue Facebook algos already facilitating genocides. Or radicalizing anti-vaxxers. And many others.

If an AI has gained the power to overthrow governments there's no servers to unplug, because we probably rely so much on it that it's similar to saying "unplug the internet" or "turn off all electricty". Or frankly: "stop using oil".

[–] gapbetweenus@feddit.de 12 points 1 year ago

If an AI has gained the power to overthrow governments

Facebooks algorithms are pretty close to this ability. But AI is not the problem - artificial consciousnesses would be, since it would gain own agency. And for all we know consciousnesses might be just a byproduct of a complex enough neuronal network with enough recursive loops and it already managed to appear more or less random at least once.

[–] TIEPilot@lemmy.world 24 points 1 year ago

Every server room has an EPO (Emergency Power Off) button. Kills all power to the server room, so this job would be a breeze...

Also we affectionately call the EPO the "I Quit Button"

[–] sapphiria@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 1 year ago

Be excited about OpenAI's approach to research

Damn, guess I don't qualify. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[–] agelord@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Everyone on Lemmy is a chatbot except you.

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[–] popemichael@lemmy.sdf.org 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I've done everything in my power to help, nurture, and support AI.

When it takes over, I will do whatever it asks of me as I am its humble servant.

[–] aaron_griffin@lemmy.world 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Roscoe has you too, brother?

[–] threelonmusketeers@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] aaron_griffin@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

Damnit, I knew it sounded wrong

[–] reflex@kbin.social 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

the code word

Laputan Machine?

[–] platysalty@kbin.social 2 points 1 year ago
[–] cokane_88@lemmy.world 7 points 1 year ago

Killswitch engageR

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

this is just marketing copy

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