I do this a lot. I get excited about stuff and go on these exuberant tangents and people think I’m just talking down to them. Sometimes it causes people to ghost me and I’ve learned that’s okay, I don’t want to be around those people anyway
this post was submitted on 17 Aug 2023
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Sometimes it causes people to ghost me and I’ve learned that’s okay, I don’t want to be around those people anyway
I'm happy for you! 😀
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AND NOBODY TOLD ME?
right‽ just tell me! my self-worth isn't based on someone else's lack of interest in a topic.
Interrobang gang
sounds sexy 🤤
Eventually I just stopped talking to people.
This is what posting online is for.
What do you mean by that, my least favorite part of the Snickers bar?
I have an insanely large number of things to say. I like to think and come to conclusions, and then check my rationale by having a discussion with other people about it. Nobody wants to do this in person, also I am old and people get busy when they're old.
A couple days ago, I wrote a "paper" titled "Donald Trump is Going to Prison," in order to sort through all the things I know and craft them into a picture, so that I can make sense of current events. I updated it with some additional information last night, and I will probably continue to do so. Talking/writing out my ideas is how I am able to better understand the world, and I very much like to have those ideas challenged.
Online forums are a fantastic place to do that.
If you decided to do some sort of website or lemmy community for posting your ideas, I'd be interested in reading them even tho I don't like nougat 😉
That would mean I would have to make a committment, and we all know that's not going to happen.
But thank you. Seriously, not kidding. If you are actually interested in anything I think, you can find what I think in my comment history here.
Exactly! That, and I can tweak my writing to see if it conveys what I want. I cannot just hit ctrl+z when I'm talking.
Most times I feel I'm having these galaxy-brain thoughts but they come across as pea-brain sentences when trying to articulate them (how long is long enough for a rant/explanation?). Going meta has also not gone well for me. By that I mean discussing about how we're discussing the topic at hand. It seems to be shrugged off as a tangent or distraction, when I believe it's a good baseline for the current and future conversations I might have with the person.
Discourse online is better suited for the exchanges I like to have with others (such as the folks on this very thread), because arguments can be better fleshed out and people are less afraid to share their rationale. Ideas and perspectives can clash, but it's not necessarily bad. Just like peer review in science papers.
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This leads me to believe I'm either autistic or an asshole
If you are just trying to share knowledge then you aren't an asshole. Those same people will do the same endless rambling about pointless sports statistics and how they made 3 touchdowns in high school or whatever thing they find interesting.
how they made 3 touchdowns in high school
I could throw a pig-skin a quarter-mile...
you might be being gaslit
Oh, I see you dealt with HR too
I used to call HR the KGB of my old job
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You must accept both sides of your being, for to be an asshole to ignorance is one of the greatest joys an educated mind can experience.
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Willingness to info dump works wonders in a casual retail sales environment. Customers come up with what they think are silly questions, and I'll just give them as complete an answer as I can, engaging fully. Vast majority of them are greatly appreciative of it.
A few even come into my store specifically to find and ask me stuff.
That's because you're performing a valuable service and we salute you for it.
Hey, you wanna learn about ancient Mediterranean religions? Did you know Yahweh is a divorced dad?
Sources:
Crecganford - Asherah, Wife of God
Source? I knew he was a philandering asshole, but I didn't know he was divorced before he met Mom.
Shit, maybe he wasn't... now I need a damn drink. Anyone got a spare water bottle?
Both of you, hurry up and provide me with more information now that I am interested and therefore invested
My guess is the fact that his son had to go through a whole lot of shit to be able to live with him after growing up with his stepdad.
Still pretty tenuous. It takes a lot of liberties with the source materials to arrive at that destination
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That's the sort of knowledge I have no interest in retaining long-time, but am always curious to read up on for hours and hours.
Most people at my workplace actually appreciate the my thorough explanations. I did have an issue crop up with one of the juniors on my team though. He talked to my boss about it who then talked to me without naming me, but I explained the situation to my boss who presumably relayed it to the junior, and I eventually figured out it was him and was able to adjust accordingly.
The issue was that since I really was more technical advanced than him, thus my higher role, my tendency to explain issues so thoroughly including context he saw as obvious was leading him to believe I was intentionally patronizing him and mocking his inexperience.
At this stage I think it's smoothed over, simply with us settling on a mutual understanding. I take extra care to minimise info dumping and he keeps in mind that I'm not intentionally trying to insult his intelligence when I inevitably fail.
I'm happy y'all were able to work it out in a respectful and professional manner
Yeah I'm very lucky I have a job where my role is to share information related to my area of expertise.
Doesn't help me outside of work though...
This kind of thing is why I rarely offer any advice or correction at work anymore unless it's a safety issue. If you stop someone from doing something dumb and wasteful before it happens, you're the asshole. Once they've screwed up all on their own, they're much more receptive to some patiently explained lesson based in experience, as long as you're kind and delicate. It can be hard to step back and not get immediately involved, especially when I know I'm going to have to deal with the fallout. I'm happy to drop everything and help anyone that asks, but they always get the introductory "Forgive me if I (because I probably will) tell you something obvious that you already know." Now I'm not the know-it-all asshole people are afraid to cross, I'm the laid back know-it-all that gets excited when people come to me with questions.
It is a constant struggle though.
It also involves waiting and really listening when people talk tangentially about something you have some weird interest in. The whole "me too! Let me add..." attitude is more often seen as mansplaining or one-upsmanship than sharing excitement. People don't usually that care what things you know unless they explicitly ask.
That's actually a really good tip! I still get criticised all the time for apparently trying to one-up everyone else and hog all the attention, and I've never been able to figure out how to prevent it. Maybe I need to point more focus into how I'm expressing a shared interest in something, because I definitely go to a "me too! Let me add..." approach by default.
I think this is just people being different and having different expectations of what an exchange should be like. I find myself in this situation pretty often
Very relatable
Is this a symptom of autism? I do this a lot without knowing.
Not technically, but it could be a pattern that is indicative of autism. If you're interested in assessing yourself, here are a bunch of online tests that could give more clarity. However, no online test is sufficiently valid enough to diagnose autism. You need a thorough assessment by an autism specialist that uses a standardized scale such as the Autism Diagnostic Observation Scale-2 (ADOS-2) which takes hours and maybe even multiple visits.
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I call it geeking out when I do it. Usually a detail I think is amazing requires too much context to understand which I figure out only when I'm explaining the background and people's eyes glaze over. Then I make jokes that no-one gets like having Superstring Torpedoes in my Star Trek expy card game.
I've been trying to relate to a group I'm in and lately it feels like everything I say falls on deaf ears. Or is outright ignored which is the more common outcome. I received some 'feedback' and since then it has felt bad. I can't relate to them in any way so my attempts to bridge that some and seeing them ignored feels extra bad.
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That's because you are not the problem, they are, because thet have no business getting angry or feeling inferior by unassuming individuals in the first place. The fact that they associate being corrected with malice is a moral failing on their part, not on yours for not catering to their feelings. They absolutely would not cater to yours if they were hurting you; instead they'd chastise you for allowing yourself to be affected by others. So do the same to them.
I love autistic counterculture ❤️ ✊
As they would say, fuck their feelings
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