this post was submitted on 16 May 2024
35 points (79.7% liked)

Ask Lemmy

26831 readers
2280 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Please don't post about US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 28 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Fiivemacs@lemmy.ca 53 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Super confusing question..

[–] victorz@lemmy.world 11 points 6 months ago

Don't think too hard on this one, Padre.

[–] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 28 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] Jourei@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago

Oh yeah, some BBQ and just snicker every now and then, hoping he'll get the pun at some point.

[–] Stern@lemmy.world 25 points 6 months ago

I'd get Joseph a "The dad that stepped up" mug.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 14 points 6 months ago

A large wooden cross, every year, for eternity

[–] iawia@feddit.nl 13 points 6 months ago
[–] Bishma@discuss.tchncs.de 12 points 6 months ago

Get yourself something nice that also looks good on the Holy Ghost and you'll all love it.

[–] Nemo@midwest.social 11 points 6 months ago

Man, I hate shopping for myself...

[–] wjrii@lemmy.world 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Whatever I wanted that week.

#justtrinitythings

[–] cmgvd3lw@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 6 months ago

a wife that don't cheat.

[–] OutlierBlue@lemmy.ca 6 points 6 months ago

Nothing because he hasn't shown up for anything. He won't even show up to prove his own existence. He's an absent parent.

[–] Drummyralf@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

The door of the castle church of Wittenberg with Luther's 95 theses nailed on them.

[–] shinigamiookamiryuu@lemm.ee 5 points 6 months ago

A performance in his honor sounds best. Other things seem either rather worldly for him or too difficult such as restoring Constantinople.

[–] ieatpwns@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago

Steak and a blowjob

[–] stinerman@midwest.social 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] iiGxC@slrpnk.net 2 points 6 months ago

But like one of those pornstar custom ones of the virgin mary

[–] LunarLoony@lemmy.sdf.org 4 points 6 months ago

A bobblehead, probably

[–] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

I'd probably commission some art of Shadow the Hedgehog on a motorcycle holding a gun. The license plate on the motorcycle would say "ALL0FM3". I feel like he'd appreciate that.

[–] RBWells@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] SkaveRat@discuss.tchncs.de 3 points 6 months ago

So, masturbation?

[–] Tippon@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 6 months ago

Definitely not Roman wine. Last time we drank that, I got hammered!

[–] MyDogLovesMe@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 months ago

Same thing as every year.

A day at the house by himself! No wife. No kids.

[–] spacemanspiffy@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

You know that diamond encrusted shit from Roger on American Dad? That. I think God would probably lime one of those.

[–] Atin@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

A book on ethics

[–] jjlinux@lemmy.ml 1 points 5 months ago

More saved souls. That's all He wants.

[–] Yareckt@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 6 months ago

A serious answer would probably be working another day on bringing paradise to earth. I think that's what jesus' purpose is.

[–] ParabolicMotion@lemmy.world 0 points 6 months ago

One of these. Tell him to wrap it around the polar ice caps, with the reflective side facing the sun, before it’s too late.