this post was submitted on 27 Jun 2024
24 points (96.2% liked)

shitposting

1502 readers
3 users here now

For the dankest of all memes

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

My real name is John Doe

top 49 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] HaSch@lemmygrad.ml 11 points 4 months ago

'); DROP TABLE no_fly_list

[–] chesmotorcycle@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I saw that someone went through and downvoted nearly every comment. Out of spite I upvoted each and every one of those, nullifying their efforts. Praxis!

[–] Rasm635u@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 4 months ago

That was probably our favorite Hoxhaist

[–] KrupskayaPraxis@lemmygrad.ml 9 points 4 months ago

Ishtar, queen of heaven, goddess of war, love and fertility

[–] Collatz_problem@hexbear.net 9 points 4 months ago

Vladimir Ulyanov

[–] redtea@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 4 months ago

R. Edward Terence. Ed for short and the R stands for Rupert but I don't really use that name except on government forms. Hence redtea, a play on R. Ed T.

[–] Soul_Greatsword@lemmygrad.ml 8 points 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) (1 children)

A three letter agency employee has just learnt about the process of elimination.

(Athel for short)

[–] context@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago (1 children)

ah, dangit, i didn't scroll down enough to see if someone already made the same joke

[–] Soul_Greatsword@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

Hey now, just because we're communists doesn't mean we can't have a dozen different brands of the same joke.

[–] anonochronomus@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

Mr. T. First name Mr. Middle name is that period. Last name T.

[–] ghost_of_faso2@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 4 months ago

Tony Hawk Blair

[–] robot_dog_with_gun@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and a big butt and my butt smells, and I like to kiss my own butt.

[–] cfgaussian@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 4 months ago

My name is Inigo Montoya

[–] MeowZedong@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 4 months ago

My name is Xi, but seeing as communism is when no money, I will not be distributing any of the Xi bucks I owe you. Instead I will pay you back with the people's love.

[–] hexthismess@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

We were supposed to put fake names as our user names?

[–] context@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

nice try, fbi, but i'm not going to let you rule out any possibilities

[–] Zuzak@hexbear.net 6 points 4 months ago

Dmitri Smirnov, KGB.

[–] rostselmasch@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 4 months ago

Jeff. My name is Jeff.

[–] PaX@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago
[–] 2Password2Remember@hexbear.net 5 points 4 months ago

richard holeburns

Death to America

[–] ahriboy@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 4 months ago

I'm not giving out real name.

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Joe Dysphoria. I invented it back in the 1880s.

[–] NikkiB@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Can I travel back in time and stop you?

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago

[LEVEL 3 ACCESS GRANTED]

Yes, the multiverse is vast and thus many attempts have been made, but it tends to have side effects.

In the off chance that it does end well, gender euphoria also no longer exists. The concepts of cisgender and transgender do not exist, because they are meaningless.

Attempting to simply kill me while also preventing Joe Euphoria from dying of grief result in [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED]. If at this point, Joe Euphoria still exists, humanity will no longer exist as you in this universe would know it.

Attempts to remove gender dysphoria as a concept from the Noosphere before its discovery do successfully prevent the discovery, but tend to cause gender to no longer exist. (Note that this does not necessarily remove sexual characteristics, see Philosophy Tube's videos covering Judith Butler for more info on gender.)

An attempt was actually made in this universe, which was unsuccessful, and led to [COGNITOHAZARD EXPUNGED]. Due to the noble sacrifice of MTF Omega-12, the most serious impacts were completely eliminated by 1945, although the permanent 1933 destruction of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft (which did not happen in the time traveler's timeline) serves as a permanent reminder of why the ends don't justify the means when everything is at stake.

[–] funky_tomatoe@lemmygrad.ml 5 points 4 months ago

Nomen Nescio

[–] REEEEvolution@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] PaX@hexbear.net 2 points 4 months ago
[–] 201dberg@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

Oh come on, we all know OP is just Comrade Wenger, nothing to worry about :)

[–] Kirbywithwhip1987@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 4 months ago

Don Eduardo Lalo Salamanca

[–] felhfeltetel@lemmygrad.ml 4 points 4 months ago

I haven't been given one.

[–] QueerCommie@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)
[–] chesmotorcycle@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago
[–] bestmiaou@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago
[–] SpaceDogs@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago

My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

[–] SugandeseDelegation@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago (1 children)

I share the same last name with Obama

[–] Shinhoshi@lemmygrad.ml 7 points 4 months ago
[–] JoeDaRedTrooperYT@lemmygrad.ml 3 points 4 months ago

Salty Gaymer

[–] Pili@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

Hillary Rodham Clinton

[–] FuckBigTech347@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

Wenger from Wisconsin

[–] nephs@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

Inigo Montoya

[–] bobs_guns@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

Barabbas Q. Garendzior

[–] deathtoreddit@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

I'm Eric Blair, the one ye called a snitch and plagiarist...

😠

[–] VeganicTankie@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

John Smith (commie)

[–] SnakeOil_Salesmann@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago

Raphaël Ambrosius Costeau

[–] chesmotorcycle@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 4 months ago
[–] Magicicad@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 4 months ago

Hong Gildong

[–] davel@lemmygrad.ml 1 points 4 months ago

Twenty Bucks, same as in town.