Reddit

Ok but it's not like that. John Wayne is a stage name, you're arguing against referring to trans people by their adopted legal name. It's still being a dick, yes even if you swear that you totally have trans friends.

I literally just got permanbanned from BadWomansAnatomy because I made a joke comment saying "as a guy, I appreciate the change" when a woman said she switched from jeans to yoga pants as her daily clothing. My account is 11 years old, I have only ever been banned from two subs, up until about a few days ago when I have received two warnings (one on my main account and one one my porn account) a temp ban, and now a permaban.

The IPO has really made them super heavy handed in controlling what is "acceptable" because they gotta keep that money flowing and keep the board happy!

Well, if you are seriously defending someone dead naming people on purpose, nobody worth a damn cares about your opinion.

To answer your question, there's two parts. First, it doesn't matter where it is, shitty behavior means you aren't allowed back. Reddit, lemmy, your house, my house, a bar, you ignore yr rules you get thrown out and not allowed back in.

Second, reddit is reddit. The site/company has been like that for ages, so anyone acting surprised by it are idiots, and anyone still using it when the company has repeatedly shown they will do exactly what op described is a masochist and/or an idiot.

Now, you can be as tired of it as you like, we don't owe each other a gods damned thing. But OP was a moron, and deserved to be out on their ass. Any rational adult is aware that words have consequences. Any rational adult knows that if one breaks the rules of a community, one will be rejected from that community. This is not calculus, it's 2+2. So, when an adult does something bone headed and gets ejected, they need to be an adult and move on without whining about it.

Also, it wasn't a very intelligent question. It was phrased poorly, and reflects limited thinking. That, btw, is patronizing and judgemental as well ;)

There is a massive difference between a stage/screen name and the name a person chooses for transition.

The fact that you don't realize that is why you ended up banned.

The fact that you're still trying to make them the same same thing is why you're an asshole.

See, it's about the way you think and act. The choice of ignoring a person's name points right towards a disrespect of the fact of the person's transition.

Now, mistakes happen. I've dead named friends during the early stages of transition, it takes time to train the brain to new names. But, and this is the important part I recognize the mistake, fix it and work harder.

Even with a stranger like an a actor, respecting a name chosen for transition shows respect for the person, and for trans people in general. Refusing to correct a mistake is the same as refusing to use their correct name in the first place.

Nobody is calling for lynching you, though I am aware that was hyperbole, not literal. I'm not even saying you need your ass beat. I'm saying that the way you're thinking as evidences by the things you're saying in public is douchey. The behavior you related in the post is ban worthy, if not corrected.

Again, there is absolutely a difference between calling John Wayne Marion and calling Eliot Page Ellen. If you don't understand the difference, that's okay. I will be glad to try and help you understand that difference, no bullshit.

And there is some minor difference between dead naming a person to their face and doing it in private. But you didn't do it in private. Again, if you don't see the distinctions involved, I am willing to try and help you see it.

You fucked up. We all fuck up. It's what we do after that really matters.

I think whats frustrating is that when the Great Migration was happening from Reddit, people telling Redditors to go to Lemmy were advertising it like a place that was more politically neutral than Reddit. So when people come over expecting that kind of community only to realize they were lied to, that makes it very frustrating.

I know thats what happened to me when I first learned about Lemmy, and it was not fun. I don't post political stuff, but I thought I wasn't going to keep seeing it everywhere. My feed is like a ghost town now though, because I just instantly ban communities or users I see posting that stuff. I don't care, I don't want to see it. Yall can talk about it without me.

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I mean more that it was going to get downvoted and OP might delete it themselves, I wasn't really talking about moderation in this particular community, which does a pretty good job from what I have seen.

I've seen a few toxic profiles on Lemmy so far

I've seen some pretty hard right trolls on here since joining up. Not many, but a few.