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I see this patronizing, judgmental language everywhere on the internet, and I'm pretty tired of it. OP is right to be annoyed.
Here's an intelligent question: Why is R*ddit a place where every little infraction, real and perceived, attracts the account death penalty?
I literally just got permanbanned from BadWomansAnatomy because I made a joke comment saying "as a guy, I appreciate the change" when a woman said she switched from jeans to yoga pants as her daily clothing. My account is 11 years old, I have only ever been banned from two subs, up until about a few days ago when I have received two warnings (one on my main account and one one my porn account) a temp ban, and now a permaban.
The IPO has really made them super heavy handed in controlling what is "acceptable" because they gotta keep that money flowing and keep the board happy!
Well, if you are seriously defending someone dead naming people on purpose, nobody worth a damn cares about your opinion.
To answer your question, there's two parts. First, it doesn't matter where it is, shitty behavior means you aren't allowed back. Reddit, lemmy, your house, my house, a bar, you ignore yr rules you get thrown out and not allowed back in.
Second, reddit is reddit. The site/company has been like that for ages, so anyone acting surprised by it are idiots, and anyone still using it when the company has repeatedly shown they will do exactly what op described is a masochist and/or an idiot.
Now, you can be as tired of it as you like, we don't owe each other a gods damned thing. But OP was a moron, and deserved to be out on their ass. Any rational adult is aware that words have consequences. Any rational adult knows that if one breaks the rules of a community, one will be rejected from that community. This is not calculus, it's 2+2. So, when an adult does something bone headed and gets ejected, they need to be an adult and move on without whining about it.
Also, it wasn't a very intelligent question. It was phrased poorly, and reflects limited thinking. That, btw, is patronizing and judgemental as well ;)