Asklemmy

A Dutch one I got from my Oma: "It's as if the angels upon my tongue have pissed". It means "yum".

The last one's very similar to a german saying: "Was man nicht im Kopf hat, muss man in den Beinen haben."

That literally translates to "What you don't have in your head, you have to have in your legs."

Funny my grandad had a little rhyme related to your ketchup effect:

"If you do not shake the bottle, none'll come and then a lot'll"

Clearly ketchup bottles have been a bigger influence on culture than we realised

Man the ones I grew up with were far far far more racist than the ones yall had.

We have your last example in Croatia, usually told as: "they who don't have it in the head, have it in the legs"

"watch the ficus" - telling somebody to be more careful after they do something clumsy like tripping or nearly dropping something. I used it in front of some friends once and got confused looks. Apparently grandma used to have a potted ficus tree and used to tell me to watch it when I was playing close to it, so it stuck as a saying in the family.

To correct someone from saying "so" too much:

"Sew buttons on ice cream"

"Hey" too much:

"Hay is for horses"

"Well" too much:

"Well, well, well - that's three holes in the ground"

Micromanage much?!?!

My mom often used two:

"Useless as tits on a bull" (often referencing her husband, my dad)

And also, "shit fire and save matches", which I never understood to actually have a meaning, it was more like just an exclamation of surprise.

"Life's tough. It's even tougher when you're stupid."

-my grandfather quoting a line from a John Wayne movie I think.

You might already heard this one but I didn't learn until a relatively recent internet meme that its only here in Norway that something being "complete texas" means its completely chaotic and messy.

Also I'm using "what the fir forest" ("hva i granskauen") as a replacement for "what the hell" and I have no idea where I've picked it up.. Nobody else around me do, not even family. Works just as fine though against pain and annoyances.

My mom used to tell my brother's and I to eat vegetables that were longer than they are wide because it's good for growing an ankle duster.

My Grandmother used to say "It's better than a kick in the teeth" when deflecting disappointment in an outcome--putting a positive spin on a negative. Being from the UK it seemed universal, but moving to Canada and saying that, people gave me odd looks.

The other one is when somebody is talking nonsense or a bit crazy, they would say "They are out of their tree". For the Welsh the tree symbolizes stability and mental wellness (druids I guess) and if you were stressed or needed to chill their phrase translates to "I need to go back to my trees"

"Dead meat is hung, live meat is hanged." Turns out most people's grandma's aren't radical leftist english teachers.

DEGUSTIBUSNONESTDISPUTANDUM

not sure I spelled it right, means "regarding personal tastes, there is no dispute"

Also another good one, "moderation in everything, including moderation."

Not really a saying, but when I was a kid I wanted to learn how to whistle so badly. I was told that if I ate pickles it would help me learn faster? I didn't eat any, and I still figured it out eventually.

Not a family saying, but my grandad used this joke soooo often:

Q: What's the difference between a snake in the grass and a goose?

A: A snake in the grass is an asp in the grass, but a grasp in the ass is a goose!

My folks liked to purposefully mix metaphors, so instead of saying "The worm has turned", they'd say, "The shoe has turned" and "The worm is on the other foot".

I'm sure there's an origin somewhere, but since I don't know it, the call-out for doing something particularly dumb was, "Why don't you just ram your face into my fist?" (suggesting your stupidity was impressive, but not worth the actual bother of 'punishing' you for it, especially given you were probably stupid enough to punish yourself).

Slickern owlshit

“Does a hawks arse pucker in a power dive?” When someone asked a question that had an unequivocal answer of yes. Similar to does a bear shit in the woods,

You better finish your dinner, don't you know there are starving children in Africa?

Ketchup effect is known outside your family. Some years ago, the then head of government of my country used the term in the context of COVID-19 vaccines. I can't quickly find sources in English, but: https://kurier.at/freizeit/trending/ketchup-effekt-mcdonalds-scherzt-ueber-kurz-sager/401206246

"Don't yuk somebody else's yum."

The ketchup effect and the suffering legs are pretty common here and I have heard many use it. Especially the one with the legs is more or less a cliche by now.

The one with the sliding Jesus i have v never heard before!

Fritzlehoffers. As a general term for anything you either don't know the name of or cant remember. Hand me the fritzlehoffers next to you please.