poor onion couldn't compete with reality so they had to start printing facts
I was gonna say...
"Face Shape: Cherubic.
Go-To Eyeliner Brand: Covergirl Intensify Me! Liquid Liner in Intense Black.
When Scanned At Vet Microchip ldentifies Owner As: Peter Thiel".
Where even is the satire?
Facts my ass 😡 this is clarely a lIbTaRd hit piece!! Vance's favorite eyeliner is Urban Decay 24/7 Glide-On Waterproof Eyeliner Pencil
Maybe if you weren't busy with your pronouns you would knoe that
When Scanned At Vet, Microchip Identifies Owner As: Peter Thiel
Make sure you know the truth around this part and how it relates to elon musk announcing that he'll perpetually donate $45 million per month to trump.
Mmmmhmmmmm, glad others recognize it too.
Books: Hillbilly Elegy, The Wizards Of Elzagard I-III, The Children Of Elzagard IV-V, Elzagard Chornicles: The Crystal Of Sa’Sakar I-IX, Encyclopedia Elzagarium: The Complete Companion To The Elzagard Realm
This is gold. Can we all just pretend the Elzagard series is real and just gaslight the fuck out of everyone?
Vance writing a fantasy novel series would give us something to like about him, so that might sway the nerdy southerner vote.
We could make the main character gay.
Or any skintone darker than than mayonaise.
I am so fucking down for this and the Original Trilogy was obviously the best…I will fight you.
The Onion
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
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