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And be sure to "tip" with one of those fake bills. (lemmy.world)

submitted 2 months ago by FlyingSquid@lemmy.world to c/atheistmemes@lemmy.world

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[-] LogicalDrivel@sopuli.xyz 122 points 2 months ago

Long ago, way back in highschool, I worked at a restaurant part time. We would get a few of those fake bills every weekend and every Monday on my way to school I would take a small detour to the church who was passing them out and dumped them in their donations bin. I doubt it made any difference but it made me feel better at least.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 44 points 2 months ago

Should attend a service and make change for them in the collection plate.

[-] August27th@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 months ago

attend a service

Then they won, didn't they.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 26 points 2 months ago

Not if you're disruptive enough.

[-] hydrospanner@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Not if you drop off $100 in these fake things and then pull a real hundo from the plate.

[-] TexasDrunk@lemmy.world 32 points 2 months ago

I always wanted to print a few up with some overtly witchy messages on them. They have this "satanic church" bogeyman, out here casting spells and eating children or whatever, that I really wanted to exploit just to fuck with the churches that do that.

But I have neither the time or energy to dedicate to these fools.

[-] WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

A friend had an awesome tee shirt with a picture of Jesus masturbating while looking up, printed on it.

Print out something like that and put it into their collection plate.

[-] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago

"Jesus is coming"

[-] athairmor@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

That’s about as close to superhero level deeds as we’ll get in real life so “thank you!”

I knew a guy in college who, in high school, would occasionally go around with his friends at night with and a chainsaw and cut down billboards. Similar but more illegal kind of stuff.

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

"you reap what you sow"

[-] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 73 points 2 months ago

People that leave church on a Sunday morning and then immediately turn into idiots on the road.

[-] akilou@sh.itjust.works 66 points 2 months ago

I reject the premise that they're not also idiots while they're still in church

[-] DavidP@midwest.social 40 points 2 months ago

At my wife's church people honk at each each other trying to get out of the parking lot. Brotherly love lasts about one minute after leaving the building.

[-] Transporter_Room_3@startrek.website 7 points 2 months ago

Brotherly love didn't even last in my parents church while inside the building. They convinced a pastor to move his family across the country, and then when ONE PERSON got offended by a difference in interpretation, they managed to strong arm their church leaders into firing the pastor.

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 24 points 2 months ago

I have quite literally never seen more random generic SUV's intermittently blowing stop signs, doing 20 under on the parkway, weaving all over lanes and generally being completely incompetent drivers than at 11:15am on a Sunday.

[-] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

Sunday customers are always the worst. I always said it was because they used all their fake friendliness up in the morning.

[-] prof_wafflez@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

turn into idiots on the road

are idiots and self-righteous assholes

FTFY

[-] ptz@dubvee.org 68 points 2 months ago

If they're good enough for tips, they're good enough for the collection plate.

[-] nichtburningturtle@feddit.org 30 points 2 months ago

They're perfect for the collection plate.

[-] DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works 23 points 2 months ago

Having worked in several restaurants, the sunday after church crowd were DEFINATIVELY the worst custoners we would have all week.

[-] Raiderkev@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago

I worked at a place where tips are very uncommon. A lady gave me one of those fake $20's once in a little envelope and I was fucking stoked. Put it in my pocket til break time n went to grab some lunch compliments of the nice customer. Go to pay, open the envelope and pull out this bullshit Jesus ad. I almost blew a gasket. I splurged on a nicer lunch that was outside of my budget thinking hey, it's free. Why not? I was never nice to that lady again.

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Couldn't we create some coins that say something along the lines of "Religious greed is still greed" or "Don't use this to pay altar boys for sex".

And then slip it in there when giving out change.

[-] Magister@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

You can meet all of them at the local Golden Corral, Sunday at noon.

[-] ArmoredThirteen@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago

My grandma's spot with all the little old ladies was a McDonald's almost half an hour away from the church. They'd all migrate there, show up at wildly different times, order a single drip coffee each, and take up several tables for hours. They mostly talked about who was the latest to die in the group. It was wild

[-] smokebuddy@lemmy.today 3 points 2 months ago

McDonalds had free coffee refills for seniors for a really long time, not sure if they still do (they got rid of the 1 free refill for everyone else a long time ago), would have been the place to be

[-] ccunning@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

“The power of Christ compels you!”

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

Close. The followers of Christ repulse me.

[-] Suavevillain@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

I wouldn't wish that crowd on anyone.

[-] kronarbob@lemmy.world -2 points 2 months ago

Well, if the restaurant is opened when church ends, it means the workers in it didn't go to church.

In the name of who would you be kind to someone that doesn't go to church ? God ? Oh, wait...

[-] Jagothaciv@kbin.earth -4 points 2 months ago

Who goes to church on a Monday?

[-] catsarebadpeople@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

You heard it here. You're only allowed to post memes that say "church" in them on Sundays. No other days allowed

[-] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago

Or else what?

[-] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 8 points 2 months ago

Assholes.

[-] Coreidan@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

Dumb asses. You know, like the ones going on Sunday too.

this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024

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