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!religiouscringe@midwest.social
Long ago, way back in highschool, I worked at a restaurant part time. We would get a few of those fake bills every weekend and every Monday on my way to school I would take a small detour to the church who was passing them out and dumped them in their donations bin. I doubt it made any difference but it made me feel better at least.
Should attend a service and make change for them in the collection plate.
attend a service
Then they won, didn't they.
Not if you're disruptive enough.
Not if you drop off $100 in these fake things and then pull a real hundo from the plate.
I always wanted to print a few up with some overtly witchy messages on them. They have this "satanic church" bogeyman, out here casting spells and eating children or whatever, that I really wanted to exploit just to fuck with the churches that do that.
But I have neither the time or energy to dedicate to these fools.
A friend had an awesome tee shirt with a picture of Jesus masturbating while looking up, printed on it.
Print out something like that and put it into their collection plate.
"Jesus is coming"
That’s about as close to superhero level deeds as we’ll get in real life so “thank you!”
I knew a guy in college who, in high school, would occasionally go around with his friends at night with and a chainsaw and cut down billboards. Similar but more illegal kind of stuff.
"you reap what you sow"
People that leave church on a Sunday morning and then immediately turn into idiots on the road.
I reject the premise that they're not also idiots while they're still in church
At my wife's church people honk at each each other trying to get out of the parking lot. Brotherly love lasts about one minute after leaving the building.
Brotherly love didn't even last in my parents church while inside the building. They convinced a pastor to move his family across the country, and then when ONE PERSON got offended by a difference in interpretation, they managed to strong arm their church leaders into firing the pastor.
I have quite literally never seen more random generic SUV's intermittently blowing stop signs, doing 20 under on the parkway, weaving all over lanes and generally being completely incompetent drivers than at 11:15am on a Sunday.
Sunday customers are always the worst. I always said it was because they used all their fake friendliness up in the morning.
turn into idiots on the road
are idiots and self-righteous assholes
FTFY
If they're good enough for tips, they're good enough for the collection plate.
They're perfect for the collection plate.
Having worked in several restaurants, the sunday after church crowd were DEFINATIVELY the worst custoners we would have all week.
I worked at a place where tips are very uncommon. A lady gave me one of those fake $20's once in a little envelope and I was fucking stoked. Put it in my pocket til break time n went to grab some lunch compliments of the nice customer. Go to pay, open the envelope and pull out this bullshit Jesus ad. I almost blew a gasket. I splurged on a nicer lunch that was outside of my budget thinking hey, it's free. Why not? I was never nice to that lady again.
Couldn't we create some coins that say something along the lines of "Religious greed is still greed" or "Don't use this to pay altar boys for sex".
And then slip it in there when giving out change.
You can meet all of them at the local Golden Corral, Sunday at noon.
My grandma's spot with all the little old ladies was a McDonald's almost half an hour away from the church. They'd all migrate there, show up at wildly different times, order a single drip coffee each, and take up several tables for hours. They mostly talked about who was the latest to die in the group. It was wild
McDonalds had free coffee refills for seniors for a really long time, not sure if they still do (they got rid of the 1 free refill for everyone else a long time ago), would have been the place to be
“The power of Christ compels you!”
Close. The followers of Christ repulse me.
I wouldn't wish that crowd on anyone.
Well, if the restaurant is opened when church ends, it means the workers in it didn't go to church.
In the name of who would you be kind to someone that doesn't go to church ? God ? Oh, wait...