I'm on staycation this week.

It's glorious.

Ups and downs. Back at the gym but only doing 15lbs per arm. It's embarrassing and a bit boring because I'm not feeling that burn, but the important thing is that I'm moving and my tendon isn't hurting too much.

Not sure if I've gone into my issues with sleep deprivation, but since I moved my cat has been running around the house howling all night. I thought it was because my commute is longer and she wasn't getting enough playtime. I started trying to wear her out before bed every day, but she wasn't getting any better. I finally figured it out one day when I realized that she wouldn't chase a toy into my bedroom. I don't know why she was avoiding the room, but I tidied the floor and started leaving treats in there for her while I'm away. She's slowly started sleeping next to me again, and I feel much better.

I feel like I dropped the ball with one of my friends (?) though. I don't know if anyone remembers, but a few months back I took some space away from a toxic friend group, citing an OCD episode I was having at the time. I truly didn't intend to ghost them but since then I've realized that I let one particular guy who used to be my bestie push me around and make me feel insane.

He messaged me a few days ago and I got a big anxiety spike and never opened it. I think with everything we've been through together he deserves honesty, I just couldn't make myself talk to him. The worst part is I'm sure he just sent me a goofy meme or something.

So basically things are improving, but my weaknesses are still glaring.

had a great weekend doing fast CAT with jean grey. she was getting PR after PR, with her best being 8.68 seconds (23.57mph / 37.93 kph). we have another event september 20-22, and i'm pretty sure she's going to earn her second title there! she's been phenomenal around other dogs lately, which is a 180 from how she used to be: barking, lunging, and growling at them.

1 more day until I get a break and fly over to Ireland for the cannonball run....so I've got that going for me

I've somehow managed to capture a bit of childhood wonder with videogames of all things again.

Way back when I was a kid, my uncle showed me Super Mario Sunshine on the Gamecube, and I was blown away by how good it looked. Clear water, beautiful scenery, bright colors. I was absolutely astonished. It felt like I was living in the future.

When I was a bit older and got my first gaming PC, I felt that same sense of wonder seeing Ironforge populated with so many people running around in their cool armor and epic mounts.

It's been a hot minute since then, and I haven't been wowed like that again until now, when I've slid my phone into a controller and steamlink's a fully modded skyrim from my PC to it. I just spent a couple hours marvelling at how sick that is that I can do that, lying on the couch and experiencing real ass games.

Now granted, the switch and the psp / vita etc have all been around for a minute, but this is my doomscrolling machine, turned into a handheld console with as high end graphics and mods as I can handle on my PC. It blew my mind since I've been dismissing the phone gaming ecosystem as little more than microtransaction shovelware hell for the longest time. It's just really neat!

I'm more at peace than ever with staying single. I don't think I was all that much of a catch in the first place, and I also don't have time nor interest for drama. I realized that it's great to suddenly decide to stay out for 2+ hours longer than intended and come home having to explain it to no one and not have to fuss over meal coordination or worry about quiet entry to avoid disturbing someone's sleep, etc. I can do whatever I want whenever I want and make weird plans with no judgment.

After the few failed relationships I've experienced in my life, this is absolutely worth the loss of physical touch. There is no comparison.

Got to 100 subs on YT the other day, so I'm doin pretty good! I hit my yearly goal and, in theory, should triple it for next year at the very least.

I can't believe it's September already, though. Time is weird. My lil brain can't handle it lol

Going well, had a series of minor fuck ups at work that were super embarassing and made me look a fool infront of my co-workers, but it's all sorted out and there's no problems resulting from it so I am not in any trouble as it was a miscommunication issue between me, marketing, and the founder of the company above all else. So they just fixed the situation with me and we continued on our way.

Still it sucks to fuck up though, especially on a project I love to work on.

Been reading my fancy gold-green-and-black edition of the cthulhu mythos tales. Some crazy stuff in there. I'm glad I'm finally taking the time to read it after sitting on thus for some 6 years.

Also second interview on Friday for the job I really want, then my bestie's birthday party afterwards 🎉

Started a Spanish language course! Also trying out a bunch of new games

But today was messed up, someone that is a friend said something messed up about my religion and I don't know what to think now. Part of me is mad that I let it happen and that the other person thought it was okay to do that since I always take things lightly

Pretty good just been playing old ps2 games using pcsx2 and watching speedrunning videos.