619
submitted 2 months ago by sag@lemm.ee to c/lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world
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[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 61 points 2 months ago

Stop pretending like you don't fart when you pee, there's no shame in it. That's typically the time to moan, if you're going to do it.

[-] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 36 points 2 months ago

All while you’re looking your urinal neighbor straight in the eye.

[-] Mercury@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

Relevant username

[-] stoicmaverick@lemmy.world 49 points 2 months ago

Do it again, but include sneezing this time.

[-] scytale@lemm.ee 39 points 2 months ago

If you fart and sneeze at the same time, your body takes a screenshot.

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 15 points 2 months ago

But there's a small chance of it making a printout on your underpants.

[-] wabafee@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

Core memory

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 months ago

Then add cumming

[-] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 38 points 2 months ago

Personally, I'd find it very concerning if I went to piss and farts started coming out instead.

[-] WalrusDragonOnABike@lemmy.today 33 points 2 months ago

If you hold farts in till you go to the restroom, its a natural time they'll come out as you relax while peeing.

[-] MossyFeathers@pawb.social 12 points 2 months ago

But farts aren't supposed to come out of your pee hole.

...Right?

[-] 0x0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 months ago

Urethrarts are dangerous, consult a doctor

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

What am I supposed to say, "Doctor, I pee carbonated."

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[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 4 points 2 months ago

Not with that attitude.

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[-] PineRune@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

Wouldn't the fart bubbles make the pee go everywhere? Like air bubbles in a garden hose when you first turn it on.

[-] JoeyHarrington@lemmy.ca 8 points 2 months ago

No the farts actually assist with urine release from the urethra. It's healthy.

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[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 33 points 2 months ago

checks community

Yep, we're in the right place, boys.

[-] lowleveldata@programming.dev 25 points 2 months ago

Where is the case where I'm being efficient and do everything in 1 go?

[-] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 2 months ago

That is the entire second row about

[-] Venat0r@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago
[-] FozzyOsbourne@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago

This man's parts send his sharts off the charts

[-] Sparky@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 months ago

What like brushing your teeth or showering?

[-] HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 21 points 2 months ago

Reading this was very confusing until i realized some people don't sit down to piss.

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[-] Lime66@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago

So pissing while farting sucks but farting while pissing is OK?

[-] Eccitaze@yiffit.net 22 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Do you drop trou and stand in front of a toilet every time you need to toot the flesh whistle?

[-] Amir@lemmy.ml 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Yeah the top one is accidental so if you're farting you're probably still wearing your pants

[-] cheddar@programming.dev 10 points 2 months ago

I always put down my pants when I fart.

[-] DJDarren@thelemmy.club 6 points 2 months ago

Farting in the office must be doubly awkward.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

and aim at the ceiling. we call that room "pollock's corner"

[-] OneWomanCreamTeam@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

Same for shitting/pissing.

[-] robocall@lemmy.world 17 points 2 months ago
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[-] needthosepylons@lemmy.world 16 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Ah yes, I often shit while I shit.

[-] sag@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago
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[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

Sometimes you think youre done and as you go to wipe, guts are like "but wait, theres more!"

[-] Sam_Bass@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago

Tis better to be pissed off than pissed on

[-] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

That's a matter of opinion.

[-] Bruncvik@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago

The picture doesn't do justice to the evil that is sharting. Especially in the middle of a long run.

[-] twinnie@feddit.uk 11 points 2 months ago

I honestly think I’d rather shit myself while farting than piss myself. If you shit yourself you can hide it and clean up. If you piss yourself everyone can see.

[-] ajoebyanyothername@lemmy.world 34 points 2 months ago

I feel like you're overestimating your ability to subtly shit yourself.

[-] wreckedcarzz@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

And the smell. And the potential liquid.

[-] jballs@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 months ago

Yeah, sharts aren't exactly known for being a solid log.

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 6 points 2 months ago

Nobody shits themselves with a solid.

[-] rimmedalpha@lemmynsfw.com 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Center bottom is all wrong. Should be this:

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago

I haven't stopped shitting for the last... checks watch twenty two years. Any combo is nice. The triple is a beaut

[-] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Shitting turns out to be the most hazardous activity of the trifecta.

[-] sebsch@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 month ago

Everything is nice while shitting

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this post was submitted on 03 Sep 2024
619 points (95.3% liked)

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