Blahaj Lemmy Meta

Well, this is some terminally online bullshit if I've ever seen some.

Listen. I understand that we all want to be inclusive and I completely support this. I use this instance for a reason. But at some point, we have to draw some sort of line in the sand in cases like this. If you look at OP's history, you'll see that this is not a moderation problem, this is an attention seeker problem.

I've said it before in a comment that the moderation removed two days ago. Actually, it was removed for misgendering OP, I believe (didn't capitalize the pronouns), BY THE PERSON OP IS CALLING OUT HERE, too! So accusations of transphobia against that person are ridiculous, but anyway, I'm going to repeat it here: This isn't the first time I see this user post something, and I can't help but notice a pattern of aggressively dictating the way people should act. Not only this, but OP's already tried to pull something similar on Beehaw.

This has been on my mind ever since I first read the initial post a while back and I'm finally going to spill it. OPis literally the only person I've ever seen use "capitalized pronouns". And I mean, on it's own, that's not a problem. Lots of people have their own special pronouns, whatever. No, what I question here, is the motive. Because here is the thing: OP identifies as a god. This isn't coming from me, this is quoting from Grail's Medium profile. "Nonbinary Goddess" and there isn't even more details in this post. And I mean, yeah, that carries a ton of baggage, no wonder people had a problem with these pronouns.

Can we stop pretending that people are being transphobic because they question the fact that someone is self-identifying as a god, please? Let's all be honest with ourselves here: Being inclusive is not the same as enabling entitlement. And making accusations of transphobia for something like this is quite frankly disgusting.

Some of you need to log off, because transphobia is real thing. You can't just throw around this term like that. A few days ago, I was at a memorial surrounded by fellow trans people, grieving actual victims of transphobia, people who died for simply being who they are. Some of us are dying, some of us are being kicked off from their family, some of are being actually discriminated against, some of us are being harassed. This is what transphobia looks it. I'm sorry for being dramatic here, but come on!

If it can be explained by: "I'm was more focused on making my point and forgot to capitalize the pronouns", then I'm sorry, I refuse to call that "transphobia".

After reading the community’s pinned “Rules Breakdown” post, I can easily see how Your post violated their rules. 🤷‍♀️ And as another poster in this thread points out, it appears You’re just on a time-out, not a perma-ban.

Also, I will capitalize “you” for You as an act of politeness, but I very strongly disagree with characterizing this as “misgendering”, even after reading Your “Introduction to capitalised pronouns” post. Yes, grammar is socially defined and arbitrary. For example, the only reason African-American Vernacular English is labelled “improper” is because so many (white) people with power say so — there’s nothing inherently worse or better about it. However, it’s still necessary to reach consensus on the meaning of words, else no one could be understood.

Capitalization of Your pronoun is clearly very important to You, and it would be thus be unkind of me to refuse to accommodate You when it’s pointed out, but English is not a language where every pronoun is gendered. The capitalized version is an honorific form of the same pronoun, not a different pronoun altogether. And generally speaking, the use of honorifics (“sir” and “ma’am” being the most common ones) is becoming far less common these days. Perhaps it’s because honorifics are most frequently used to establish dominance and subservience roles, whether that be in customer service roles (“yes, sir”) or governing roles (“yes, Your Honour” or “yes, Your Majesty”). To borrow Your own example, even many Christians now refer to their god as “he” rather than “He” in written language. And of course, those of us who totally reject the notion of gods certainly don’t. Your insistence on capitalization as respect for Your divinity makes me genuinely uncomfortable as someone who doesn’t believe in divinity at all and certainly shouldn’t feel subservient to You.

Capitalized pronouns.

This, folks, is how you delegitimize an entire movement in one easy step.

OP is mental.

The mod log shows the ban was for violating rule two of the community (both for the post and user). Seems like there were others who had comments removed and were banned for 6d as well around the same time. Perhaps the mod didn't realize who You were and was banning on autopilot to clean things up in the community?

Also, FWIW, in my client (Alexandrite). and from what I can see in Your screenshots, pronouns aren't showing up next to Your username where the comment is. I'm absolutely not defending anyone transphobic, but not everyone is going to click through to the profile to see is pronouns are in the profile. I wanted to let You know about that incase that's some setting on aussie.zone or something that could be fixed and make things better.

I’ve never heard of using capitalized pronouns, would You mind sharing a bit more about why You use them?

No pressure at all, You obviously don’t have to explain or justify Yourself or Your identity to me or anyone, but I’ve done a bit of googling and the only references I can find are to deities and i genuinely would love to know more

It's very simple, language is for the benefit of communication. Ain't nobody got time to fuck with hyper-specific pronouns. They/them is a well understood way to reference people; capitalizing that shit is confusing. Learn to get along with people, OP. Sometimes other people compromise for your, sometimes you compromise for others.

That thread was removed by a community mod and I can't find any examples of deliberate misgendering in remaining posts.

I will action deliberate misgendering, but in this case, the posts have already been removed.

You're right. I did misgender You in that report, and I apologize. I have no excuse because I'm well aware You use capitalized pronouns. I even tried to be careful not to do so, but I still failed. I'll fix it.

As for the comment I left up, the post is removed for violating the community rules, so I didn't remove further comments after I removed the post itself, but You're right -- I'll remove it.

The post was removed for a completely different reason. The post was encouraging people to lie in order to win elections -- erasing the experiences of groups such as Palestinians, immigrants, the economically disadvantaged, BIPOC, and LGBTQIA+ people. There's no way I was going to leave that up. Erasure is never okay.

It's very infrequent that I have to remove a post, but this one very clearly violated the community guidelines.

I have no problem with You as a person, and I've always appreciated Your meaningful and thoughtful contributions to the community, even when I don't fully agree. I'm sure You feel a bit hurt that I also applied a temporary ban for the post, but I did that because even though I personally like You and have tried to be nothing but an ally and friend, it would be completely inappropriate for me as a mod to show favoritism in such a case. I therefore applied the same temp ban I would to any other user who made such a post. It was genuinely nothing personal, and I'll be honest -- it wasn't even easy for me to do the right thing. I almost sent You a DM to explain the situation, but I wasn't sure it would be welcome. Now I wish I had.

capitalised pronouns are on a fundamental level as valid as any other gendered pronouns. fucking up can happen but not accepting OPs pronouns because they are unusual is shit

~~i'm still blocking OP tho because no gods no masters~~

edit:

honestly i think no gods no masters is a generalizing slogan and we gotta look at what it actually stands for, which imo is the rejection of all authority. anarchy is imo about that, the rejection of authority and hierarchy.

for that reason, as long as someones identity does not imply authority or supieriority or create hierarchical structures, i dont have an issue with them because of their identity, from an anarchist perspective.

we should just let ppl be happy and be themselves. just let people identify as whatever they want. we can talk about it again when it causes real issues. for now the biggest issues are being cause by the identities of binary cis people anyway

I gotcha Fam for those embedded pics

In order:

I'd assume that the mod in question (being a mod) sees a ton of posts and comments from a ton of users and simply didn't check Your profile before making the comment there.

Or hell it could have been their autocorrect dropping the capital (which mine does pretty often)

But from what I can see it's also a single comment. Don't assume malice when ignorance can easily explain it.

And that mod is really quick to ban people, hell they banned me last week less than a minute after I made a comment on one of their posts simply for saying that dems and the GQP weren't the same (their post was implying that they were the same). The reason they banned me was for being a "liberal".

Personally I'd recommend a solution to help weed out transphobia vs ignorance: put Your‡ pronouns at the end of your username so that it's easy for people to know and talk to you how you'd like. This is fairly easy to do on Lemmy as flairs at the end of usernames don't really exist around these parts.

‡ I literally had to go back and manually change this to a capital Y after my autocorrect changed it.

Edit: Missed some caps.

That's pretty blatant transphobia on the part of the moderator.