this post was submitted on 14 Oct 2024
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Spooky 👻 Halloween 🎃 Dark 🦇 Horror 🔪 Memes

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[–] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

Punctuation too:

“A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and fires two shots in the air.

"Why?" asks the confused waiter, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife annual and tosses it over his shoulder.

"I'm a panda," he says, at the door. "Look it up."

The waiter turns to the relevant entry and, sure enough, finds an explanation.

Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.”

― Lynne Truss, Eats, Shoots & Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation

You see a panda walk into a bar, duck down on the floor and get to the nearest exit. They be cray cray.

[–] Rolando@lemmy.world 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Alternate ending: In life the vampire had been a logician, and thus intepreted the statement as an implied "yes"...

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (2 children)

But he can't unless he's given permission. So until that happens, the answer is "no."

[–] logicbomb@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (4 children)

So if the teacher had simply said, "yes," but in her head, she wasn't giving him permission, just stating that she believed he possessed the capability of entering, would he be able to enter or not?

[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's kind of in the same realm as all the vampires in the world suddenly developing an aversion to crossed sticks and blessed water in 33 AD.

[–] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 month ago

And that’s exactly the sort of pedantry we’re discussing.

[–] Simulation6@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 month ago

Better check the DM guide and roll a 12 sided dice.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

No, the permission needs to be granted verbally and explicitly. It cannot be implied in any way.

[–] jaycifer@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Counterpoint: a welcome mat that says “welcome” or “come on in” can be used to circumvent such requirements.

I think it comes down to whether the limitation of entry comes from a restraint external or internal to the vampire. If there is some force that comes from people/houses that prevents the vampire from entering until consent is given, then I think you may be correct in that the permission goes as interpreted by the permission-giver. If it is a compulsion that comes from the vampire themself that they need to receive permission, then it comes down to the interpretation of permission as received by the vampire, and they would have more leeway to twist meanings to allow themselves entry.

Personally I lean toward the latter understanding as it is a simpler explanation of supernatural phenomena for such compulsions to come from the vampire’s psychology than explain some magical force acting on the vampire from the dwelling. It also makes vampires more sinister and therefore scary, which for a horror entity is good.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 month ago

It would also fit lore to be the vampire's OCD that prevents entry, they also have to count things like grains of rice or matchsticks if spilled in front of them before they can continue on.

[–] pastermil@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 month ago

I then have a question of my own.

What about abandoned house, or dilapidated shack with someone in it? Does it need to be the rightful giving permission, or can it be a random person (i.e. can the vampire hire a squatter to let them in)?

[–] ArbitraryValue@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 month ago

I'd say that he wouldn't. It's magic, so it can work based on intent...

[–] RedditRefugee69@lemmynsfw.com 1 points 1 month ago

Are you so sure vampires operate on The Southern Vampire Mysteries rules?

[–] Godnroc@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Sighs "May I come in?" "Yes- no wait!" Involuntary blood donation

[–] Nelots@lemm.ee 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

"I don't know, may you?

The vampires never would have gotten my older brother when I was growing up.

[–] mitchty@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 1 month ago

My late gram too, every dam time: I don’t know young man, can you do a thing or may you? Why are you asking my permission about your ability to do stuff?

She was a stickler for using may.

[–] DirkMcCallahan@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

"Can I go to the bathroom?"

"I don't know, can you?"

"Yes, I physically can, but if you don't give me permission, I CANNOT use the bathroom without repercussions."

Fuck, the memories that this brings back have triggered me, lol.

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Sigh. "No, I can't."

[–] Canadian_Cabinet@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 month ago

In Spanish, may and can are the same verb: poder. Asking ¿Puedo ir al baño? can mean both may I go as well as can I go. And if you wanted to be somewhat eloquent, it can also mean am I able to go