this post was submitted on 17 Nov 2024
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Laittakaa meemejä tänne.

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Stole it off of reddit

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I tried to befriend a friendless dude in college. Found out he was friendless because he went around asking women what their "cunt diameter" was. Even women professors!

[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 31 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

I used to be the guy that knew everyone, introducing my friends to others, and others to others.

These days, I have maybe 2 friends.

The good friends I once had believe everything they see on Facebook.

I just couldn't anymore.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 11 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. Probably childhood abandonment, abuse, and neglect.

My poor mom tried, she really did. She was abandoned, abused, and neglected too. A lot of things that would have seemed absurd to a healthy person were normal for her so she tolerated a lot and expected a lot. She suffered so much as a kid that whatever idea she had about family, she was sticking to.

I have no close friends and I LOVE it that way. I wish I didn’t.

Being alone is my favorite way to be. I can’t move in any direction in life because of it. Fortunately my wife wants me to be a stay at home dad. She isn’t crippled like I am and she loves me anyway, thank goodness.

[–] masterofn001@lemmy.ca 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

You are at least fortunate enough to have the type of love only your wife could give.

Everyone is broken in some way.

Some want to break others because of it. Some want to comfort the broken.

Your life is yours to live. You have someone who, it sounds, respects that. That's more than many could ever wish to have.

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

Yeah, I’m very lucky to have her.

I sometimes think of who I’d be if I were anyone at all, but I’m happy to be nobody right here where I’m at.

[–] Trekman10@sh.itjust.works 6 points 7 hours ago

Algorithmic social media just ruins everything. Once twitter and facebook started pulling out all the stops to keep us on their sites instead of letting us use them as a starting point to connect and/or simply augment our existing irl relationships.

[–] nimpnin@sopuli.xyz 64 points 15 hours ago (5 children)

IDK man, the people with no or few friends tend to be weird but not really bad in any meaningful way: socially awkward, shy, odd interests, neurodivergent etc. Difficult to get to know, plain and simple. People with a lot of friends are often worse people, manipulative and/or have a transactional attitude to relationships

[–] Bubs@lemm.ee 7 points 5 hours ago

The people with no or few friends tend to be weird but not really bad in any meaningful way: socially awkward, shy, odd interests, neurodivergent etc. Difficult to get to know, plain and simple.

*Raises hand*

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 9 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Yeah I'd like to think I'm not a bad person. I just have intense social anxiety. The only way I've made friends are when chatty people tend to talk to me and invite me to things. I've always appreciated when people do this, but then I just don't retain the friendship when I or they have moved across the country or when we've moved into different life stages (ex: graduating from high school or college or changing jobs). I'm fortunate enough to have a friend now who is just nice and talks to me. Prior to that I didn't have anyone for a while outside of my online friends. Some of us are really just terrified of other human beings is all.

Part of this is that I have always an intense paranoia of appearing too clingy, so I never invite anyone else out to do things. Notice how one of the commenters said they broke off a friendship because the other person was too clingy. Well I just break it off first by never engaging because I don't want them to think I'm too clingy or weird. Even now with the one friend I have I fear that I text too much or bother them too much or things like that. I try to limit myself and leave them alone but I never know where the line is between never speaking and between speaking too much.

So I just chill alone I guess.

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 hours ago

Just be chill

I rarely do anything with people I know. I'm not a super social person and I tend to keep to myself. I tend to hang with people that I either know very well or that I work do something with.

[–] doomcanoe@sh.itjust.works 40 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Idk man, the people with no friends and the people with a lot of friends and even the people with a middle amount of friends seem to follow a standard distribution of personalities.

Some awkward people and some charismatic people just suck. Some awkward people and some charismatic people are awesome. But most of all, people are just kinda shades of in-between.

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

Yeah I don't think it's really fair for anyone to be generalizing people over the number of friends they have. There are shitty and no shitty people in both camps.

[–] 3dogsinatrenchcoat@slrpnk.net 11 points 11 hours ago (2 children)

When I was in high school there was only one kid with no friends and he was racist

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 hours ago

At least he wasn't the popular kid

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 2 points 9 hours ago

Same. It was in the Tennessee suburbs so there was actually a lot of racism, but dude was like, Klan level racist, and that's just rude.

[–] danhab99@programming.dev 3 points 13 hours ago

And when it's not any of those cases then that person has a horrible pattern of behavior. I've learned this lesson way too hard.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 92 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

Two weeks ago, I saw the loner at the table of an event. Went to go talk to them because they were alone for a while.

In less than 10 minutes, they made a offensive joke that would have insulted half the people here, and complained about their living situation unprompted.

[–] Letstakealook@lemm.ee 17 points 15 hours ago

Idk why in imagining them telling a version of the aristocrat's and then saying, "So anyway, that's my roommates."

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 11 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Now I want to know the joke

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 9 points 8 hours ago (2 children)

The guy made a comment about women and minorities about if I was just trying to meet a DEI quota.

He said this to me, a person of color, at a tech event where according to the census, 60% of Engineers are white.

[–] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 6 points 8 hours ago
[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 0 points 6 hours ago

Maybe he is a want to be racist. Not actually racist enough to avoid you but racist enough to make nasty jokes.

[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 46 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago) (1 children)

not to brag, but i've graduated from not befriending friendless people to driving away friended people who try to be friends with me

less people, ~~less~~ fewer drama

[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 11 points 15 hours ago (2 children)
[–] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 35 points 15 hours ago (2 children)
[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 14 points 13 hours ago

Perfect lmao

[–] nooneescapesthelaw@mander.xyz 8 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Fewer people, less drama (other way around)

[–] tkk13909@sopuli.xyz 4 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Fewer would only be used in this case if drama was plural. Fewer dramas vs less drama

[–] TWeaK@lemm.ee 0 points 13 hours ago

I was referring to fewer people lol.

Really though the jury is kind of out with fewer/less in a lot of situations, but a strict rule would probably say "fewer people, less drama". The real contradiction is "15 items or less", which should really be "15 items or fewer" but the former is so well established now it won't go away.

[–] henfredemars@infosec.pub 48 points 16 hours ago

It’s the risk you take. I’ve met some of the most interesting people this way. If you go into it with an open mind and understand that usually it’s not going to work out, you’ll be better for it.

[–] BigDaddySlim@lemmy.world 21 points 15 hours ago

Happened to me a few years ago, started in a new office and one of the guys seemed cool so we talked more frequently. Ended up helping him get the apartment upstairs from me because his lease was expiring and carpooled to work. That's when the clinginess started, couldn't go half a day without him always texting or calling over stupid shit and borderline unhinged behaviors. I distanced myself real quick from him. The final straw was when he had asked what "village" my girlfriend was from in Brazil, then doubled down when I called him out for assuming she was from some uncontacted Amazonian tribe. "Well you havent been there yet so you don't know lol" yeah ok fuck you, dude. Haven't talked to him since, even though he still lives upstairs.

[–] Emi@ani.social 19 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

Anxiety sucks, or is there different reasons why I don't have irl friends?

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 2 points 6 hours ago

Domain checks out

[–] BossDj@lemm.ee 1 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago)

Yeah I'm deleting this. Not comfortable with what I said based off a "few people I know"

[–] psmgx@lemmy.world 10 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

There are a lot of lonely people in the world. Too many of them deserve it.

[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 36 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

I had a brilliant idea for a app during college. It connected self-identified lonely nerds with other self-identified lonely nerds. Like "Oh you like anime, here is this other guy, and here are five events you can attend together." I was hoping for that Zuckerberg money if this app was a hit.

I ran it through a test trial with a dozen pairings of them in my college campus to see if it had value.

And yeah, a lot of the feedback was that the other person was kind of annoying/intolerable. Which was funny when both of them said that about each other.

[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 22 points 14 hours ago (2 children)
[–] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 3 points 8 hours ago

Accurate. I found my idea was just recreating reddit mod meetups.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 12 points 12 hours ago

Hence the lack of profit

[–] kusivittula@sopuli.xyz 8 points 15 hours ago

yeah, I'm the person 🙈

[–] dch82@lemmy.zip 6 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Can relate; have friend who I somewhat wish I never met

[–] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 1 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

Just start pretending that you don't know him. Just me like "who are you?"

Just kidding don't do that