Dying of piles sounds awful. Like, it would have been nice to marathon Ye Olde Stranger Things or Squide Game without having your arse falling to pieces on your ~~deathbed~~ deathsofa.
this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2024
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Someone vomitted to death. I'd probably rather the cancer and wolf combo.
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'Planet' goes hard.
| Olde | Modern | Count |
|---|---|---|
| Abortive, and Stillborn | Abortion and Stillbirth | 445 |
| Affrighted | Fear? Possibly a heart issue? | 1 |
| Ague | Malaria, or a disease involving fever and shivering | 43 |
| Apoplex, and Meagrom | Stroke and severe headache, migraine | 17 |
| Bit with a mad dog | Rabies | 1 |
| Bleeding | Blood loss | 3 |
| Bloody flux, scowring and flux | Dysentery and cholera | 348 |
| Bruised, Issues, sores and ulcers | Bruising, open sores, either as a symptom of something else (hemorrhagic fever) or because they got infected | 28 |
| Burnt, and Scalded | Same | 5 |
| Burst, and Rupture | Probably an externally visible rupture | 9 |
| Cancer and Wolf | Cancer and Lupus | 10 |
| Canker | Mouth sores, maybe from herpes? Probably not the underlying cause of death | 1 |
| Childbed | Death following complications from childbirth | 171 |
| Chrisomes, and Infants | Babies less than 1 month old and Infants | 2268 |
| Cold, and Cough | Same (but probably a symptom of something worse) | 55 |
| Colick, Stone, and Strangury | Gallstones, kidney stones, and other intestinal and urinary blockages | 56 |
| Consumption | Tuberculosis | 1797 |
| Convulsion | Seizure, possibly caused by epilepsy | 241 |
| Cut of the Stone | Died during surgery to remove kidney / gallstones | 5 |
| Dead in the street, and starved | Exposure, hypothermia, starvation | 6 |
| Dropsie, and Swelling | Edema, fluid retention, possibly caused by heart failure | 267 |
| Drowned | Same | 34 |
| Executed, and prest to death | Executed is obvious, "prest to death" is accidental death while being tortured (via pressing) to force a confession | 18 |
| Falling sickness | Epilepsy, perhaps "petit mal" seizures vs "grand mal" which went under Convulsion | 7 |
| Fever | Same, interesting that it's distinct from Ague | 1108 |
| Fistula | Same, horrific, distinct from childbed -- I guess the women lived a bit longer? | 13 |
| Flocks, and small Pox | Smallpox and other diseases causing pustules | 531 |
| French pox | Syphilis | 12 |
| Gangrene | Same | 5 |
| Gout | Gout, or inflammatory arthritis, not the underlying cause of death, but a clear symptom | 4 |
| Grief | Modern medicine would be more specific but... | 11 |
| Jaundies | Jaundice, liver disease | 43 |
| Jawfaln | Fallen jaw, lockjaw, tetanus | 8 |
| Impostume | Abcess, a symptom of an infection | 74 |
| Kil'd by several accidents | Trauma, I assume | 46 |
| King's Evil | Scrofula or Mycobacterial cervical lymphadenitis | 38 |
| Lethargie | Chronic fatigue, a symptom of something else | 2 |
| Livergrown | Swollen liver, possibly cirrhosis from drinking | 87 |
| Lunatique | Lunatic, mental illness -- curious about the actual cause of death though | 5 |
| Made away themselves | Suicide | 15 |
| Measles | Same | 80 |
| Murthered | Murdered | 7 |
| Over-laid and starved at nurse | A smothered baby, either accidentally or on purpose, starved from lack of milk | 7 |
| Palsie | Paralysis, Parkinson's, similar things | 25 |
| Piles | Hemorrhoids, not a cause of death, but a source of infections and an obvious symptom | 1 |
| Plague | same | 8 |
| Planet | Sudden death thought to be related to something astrological (planet alignment) | 13 |
| Pleurisie, and Spleen | Pleurisy (chest infection), apparently it can sometimes be caused by damage to the spleen? | 36 |
| Purples and spotted Feaver | Bruising and spotted fever (tick borne disease), distinct from bruising, listed earlier | 38 |
| Quinsie | Quinsy, Peritonsillar abscess, can cause many other things | 7 |
| Rising of the Lights | Fluid in the lungs, possibly caused by croup | 98 |
| Sciatica | Same, possibly caused by spinal disc herniation | 1 |
| Scurvey, and Itch | Ye Scurvy dogs! Ye been sailing with yer limes! | 9 |
| Suddenly | um... | 62 |
| Surfet | Surfeit, overeating, overdrinking, not fatal on its own, but perhaps blamed when it was the underlying reason | 86 |
| Swine Pox | Possibly a euphemism for "French Pox"? | 6 |
| Teeth | Probably children dying at an age when their permanent teeth were coming in. Similar to "Chrisomes" named for the cloth used when christening a child. Either that or serious tooth infections that led to complications. | 470 |
| Thrush, and Sore mouth | Thrush (Candidiasis) could make it hard to eat or drink, or lead to other infections | 40 |
| Tympany | Excess gas in the gastrointestinal tract making the belly like a drum, many potential underlying causes | 13 |
| Tissick | A wasting disease, often associated with a cough | 34 |
| Vomiting | Long term vomiting can cause dehydration, might also have been used for someone choking on vomit and dying from asphyxiation | 1 |
| Worms | Ugh. | 27 |
Bit with a mad dog
This makes it seem like someone wielded the dog as a weapon
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Died of teeth
Not really sure what I can add to that
Toddlers and Kindergartners basically, still teething. Of whatever cause, too many and too difficult to tell.
This is just the extended discography of a gothic folk metal band?
How did someone die of sciatica?
Could be pain in the sciatic area that was actually caused by something else, like septic kidneys or an internal tumor
Just snapped right in half.
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Grief
So death by heartbreak is possible
You see it a lot in elderly couples. One dies right after the other.
That happened with our dogs. One of our dogs was crazy about the other, like she was his everything. She passed away, and he died in the middle of the night a few days later. They were both elderly, but he had seemed fine when we went to bed, other than being sad about losing his best friend.
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I didn't know you could die of grief. Also what is 'made away themselves'?
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Bacteria Virus Cancer Heart Condition Trauma Malnutrition Suicide Kidney Disease Heart Disease Liver Disease Parasite
What else am I missing?
Mostly, they died from a lack of medical knowledge.
So many dead children. I count a full one third of all deaths being babies and toddlers.
It's the reason why so many misleading statistics claim a much shorter lifespan in the past. If you survived childhood, and there wasn't a plague around, or a war, you had good chances of reaching 60.
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This will make a useful crib sheet for reading the causes of death in the US next year under Health Tsar RFK Jnr .