this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Like duct tape - my god, what is the world coming to

top 50 comments
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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 120 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Took me a minute. Chloroform, for any other dumbys

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 19 points 2 weeks ago

Thanks. It would never have occurred to me.

[–] nialv7@lemmy.world 16 points 2 weeks ago

kinda wondered why chlorophyll and chloroform have the same root, it's not like there's chlorine in chlorophyll.

turns out chloro- means yellowish green. TIL.

[–] Masamune@lemmy.world 94 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Eheran@lemmy.world 36 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] taiyang@lemmy.world 92 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

Why do the comments feel a bit whooshy on this one?

That said, I bet you could find a kidnapper starter kit somewhere on the Internet. Fun fact, chloroform doesn't work the way you think it does--- it isn't instant and it doesn't last long enough to be of any use like this. Movies have lied to you. Keep this in mind if you have weekend plans with any CEOs near you!

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 38 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also the vulcan nerve pinch doesn't work. It was invented by Nimoy because he didn't want to punch a guy.

[–] papalonian@lemmy.world 24 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Shit, next you're gonna tell me Vulcans aren't real.

[–] I_Miss_Daniel@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

They are. Not bad heaters back in the day.

[–] Maalus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

They are, Romulans aren't though.

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[–] MBM@lemmings.world 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Knocking someone out safely is also really difficult, but I see why movies like the trope

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

There's a reason it's the highest paid job in medicine

Ether can do what the movies say chloroform does, though.

[–] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 3 points 1 week ago

Sure didn't stop the media

[–] hperrin@lemmy.world 63 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

You can also buy mustard. Like, hello! All someone has to do is boil that, and they have mustard gas!

[–] nexguy@lemmy.world 26 points 2 weeks ago

Heinz DOES sound German....

[–] Zozano@lemy.lol 55 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

You can also buy wolf piss but everyone loses their mind when a girl with pink hair sells her farts :(

[–] theangryseal@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Man, I might buy some coyote piss and spray my trash cans to make the raccoons fuck off.

I don’t want to hurt them, but if that don’t work I’m going airsoft on those assholes. If that don’t work, paintballs.

I’ve tried everything. I left them some food about 200 yards from my home and they’d eat that and still come and tear my trash cans apart.

Even if I got the cans with locked lids, it’s an apartment so I’d walk out to find the neighbor’s trash everywhere and they just walk past it like they didn’t see it. I left it once to see how long they’d ignore it. For four days my yard looked like a landfill. No one bothered to touch it,

It’s easy to see it’s your trash too. I see my one neighbor carrying 12 packs of sprite in every day. Sprite cans litter the yard? Yep. She doesn’t even care.

Told me once that she would have cleaned it but she didn’t have gloves. I asked her if she had soap and she huffed at me and went inside.

I’d chop my nuts off to live in a house again.

[–] Maiq@lemy.lol 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Had a skunk take up residence under my barn. I waited to see if she was gonna have some kits. She was huge! Sure enough I see her with her little ones. Waited for then to leave the nest before I put a radio with country going 24/7. Skunks are solitary generally and don't like a bunch of noise.

Racoon's might need a little different motivation to get the hint. Might look into ultrasonic motion/sound machines.

I put a radio with country going 24/7

This works on me, too.

[–] DigiDemiFiend@lemmy.world 39 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

The ratio of comments that get the joke vs comments that don't is troubling

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[–] insomnia_sufferer@lemmy.ml 31 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

These are the same kind of people who freak out when you tell them everyone who has consumed dihydrogen monoxide will die.

[–] ComplacentGoat@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I have a laser engraving machine at work that houses a class 3 fiber laser. The amount of people that lose their shit when you open the door to add/remove parts or straight up walk 50ft around the thing is insane. All because of a little sticker that says "Caution- Laser Radiation". They seem to think it's a reactor core or something. No matter how many times I've explained the difference between ionizing and non-ionizing radiation, and showed them the data sheet and safety interlocks, I get the same one line argument "It says radiation. It's gonna give everyone here cancer."

[–] Fenrisulfir@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Does your work have baseboard heaters or radiators? Maybe it’s time to start putting those little stickers on everything that radiates energy

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[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s gonna give everyone here cancer.”

Then they head off to the lake/beach for the weekend to work on their tan.

One of the ladies goes to a tanning salon. These people work with Tetrahydrofuran and Ethylene Chloride, but decided to make this the hill to die on.

[–] klemptor@startrek.website 2 points 1 week ago

Next thing you know, RFK Jr will ban it....

[–] Zier@fedia.io 16 points 2 weeks ago

People complain about the fake reviews on Amazon (which are illegal now), but it's the dumb people that are the worst.

[–] tetris11@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (2 children)

ITT: people complaining about (virtually non-existent) people who didn't get it

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago

I would never have made the connection if someone hadn't explained.

I'm not that used to illiteracy.

[–] underwire212@lemm.ee 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I like to create imaginary people that I can complain about though

[–] tetris11@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago

I build my houses out of straw too

[–] Turret3857@infosec.pub 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Amazon: Screwing humanity over for profits from A-Z!

[–] Atelopus-zeteki@fedia.io 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Also giving us unintended chortles, thanks to our creative friends. And yeah, I do use AmZn to check prices and product availability, but avoid ever buying anything from there.

[–] MutilationWave@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

I drunkenly bought four black balaclavas from Amazon a couple days ago. I was high on copium. Such a stupid decision.

[–] Big_Boss_77@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Chlorophyll? More like Borophyll...

[–] dgbbad@lemmy.zip 4 points 1 week ago

NO I WILL NOT MAKE OUT WITH YOU!

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[–] horse_tranquilizers@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Wait till they sell rohypnotoad

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[–] fraksken@infosec.pub 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And chloroform is freely available at your nearest chemist.

[–] GhiLA@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Is it comically accurate to 1950's cartoons in how it incapacitates a person?

[–] AnUnusualRelic@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] beejboytyson@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

From my understanding it takes 5-10 mins of consistent inhalation. And the effects last only seconds.

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 3 points 1 week ago (2 children)

And it is quite carcinogenic, so if you use it on some one, not only is it going to be quite ineffective, it's also probs going to give them cancer

[–] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 2 points 1 week ago

It's super effective, just on a very long timescale.

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[–] FreakinSteve@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Civilization began collapsing after dictionaries were banned worldwide

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