this post was submitted on 22 Sep 2023
898 points (99.7% liked)

The Onion

4502 readers
964 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Another oldie

top 15 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] strawberry@artemis.camp 59 points 1 year ago (1 children)

i though the onion was supposed to be satire not give good advice

[–] 1chemistdown@kbin.social 24 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They had to change to a decent advice column now that everyone is posting satire, and bad satire at that. Once Trump made every ridiculous headline they ever wrote seem reasonable, it was time to change direction.

[–] kameecoding@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

similarly South Park kinda laid off recent events because Trump Winning totally screwed up the ending of one of their seasons and then during the presidency it was getting tpo surreal

[–] jeremy_sylvis@midwest.social 34 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Another oldie... but a goodie.

It's kind of amazing the extent to which COVID-era remote work policies proved this out. Simply not being in the office and subject to the myriad inanities and sanity's death by a thousand cuts was so nice.

[–] FaceDeer@kbin.social 25 points 1 year ago

Excellent timing to see this article. I and 49 of my co-workers got laid off today, I'm passing this around and it's much appreciated by them. :)

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This is my plan for next Friday. Only waiting for my earned bonus.

Quit with nothing lined up just cuz I can’t do this anymore (spent 6 mths saving up for this so I can take my time). Gunna spend a few months playing video games and working on my depression and anxiety.

This is great advice. I wish we had universal healthcare and a UBI/socialized housing so everyone could just walk when it sucks. But that’s precisely why we don’t have those things. Can’t let people have real choices or they will choose to walk.

[–] frickineh@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

I did that in 2017 because I was basically on the verge of a mental breakdown. Ended up taking 3 months off and it was a game changer.

[–] NoXzema@lemmynsfw.com 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I did exactly this. Lost a lot of money with no immediate income but it was so worth it.

[–] SpookyUnderwear@eviltoast.org -4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The fuck are you talking about? You can find a new job and quit your current one whenever you want. People do it, literally, everyday. Stop fantasizing about the government giving you free money so you can sit on your ass playing video games all day.

[–] ApathyTree@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Lawl, I don’t need the government to give me money to not work, I’m literally going to do that anyway, probably for a year or more. But finding a new job isn’t as easy as you seem to think. You just sound super out of touch with society as a whole.

I want everyone else to have the security to quit without having found a new job. And that requires social programs. Because insurance, and housing, and childcare needs and whatever else.

The perk of the social programs is giving people who live in poverty the security to walk away when the workplace is shit. People who live in poverty (of which I technically count based on income, even though I’ve managed to make it work through mostly choosing never to have a family, and getting lucky the partner of my deceased parent was willing to co-sign a cheap foreclosure for me at a good time in the market) typically can’t afford not to have steady income, and business rely on that to keep wages low. I recognize my privilege in being able to do this, and don’t see why I should be able when people who raise the next generation of humans can’t. If anyone should be able to take downtime to do things they want, it’s parents. But they are the most forced into long hour and low wages.

You might want to, as the internet says these days, touch grass.

[–] SpookyUnderwear@eviltoast.org -1 points 1 year ago

You're an unrealistic individual. Even those well off don't have the luxury to simply quit their job without having something already lined up. I could quit my job now, and would be OK for a while, but eventually, obviously, my funds would dry up. This is the way of the world. To suggest there should be social programs that allow you discontinue employment for X amount of time while looking for employment is asinine. It would be taken advantage of quickly (because humans suck). I suggest you invest your energy into realistic solutions to societies problems and not waste time on fantasies.

Take your false reality and "touch grass" nonsense back to reddit.

[–] mayo_cider@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just took some mushrooms and was fantasizing about moving to middle of nowhere and living off the land

I grew up in the middle of nowhere so I know the realities of that and I'm way too hedonist to actually do it but it's a nice dream

[–] FordPrefect@startrek.website 2 points 1 year ago

I would 100% end up like that guy from the Twilight Zone episode, who gets some time to himself & immediately breaks his glasses.

Now if only I didn't have to go 5 miles outside town, to reach a store that still stocks desirable inventory. When I realize that almost nothing is stored in town where the majority of sales would otherwise occur, I feel like our cities are just kinda doomed?

[–] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 6 points 1 year ago

Loved it when I first saw it and love it today. Fucking hated office work.

[–] Blastasaurus@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

I did this at my office at IBM a decade ago. I picked up a hammer and never looked back (added bonus: smashing shit got out some of the rage).