As far as matrix is concerned, "direct messages" are treated as regular room. You can check if encryption is enabled the same way you would do other rooms if you want to make sure. Actually enabling encryption depends on the client, but I believe most "official" clients nowadays enables it by default.
You get a red warning badge next to messages in element if it fails to enforce e2e encryption.
So unless you're seeing that, your messages are being encrypted.
I think they're encrypted by default now. But check whether you have "encryption enabled" in your message log.
And if you want to chat with family or friends, check out Session. It's more user-friendly and more secure.
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