Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 1 year ago

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

479

Anon's strict mom (lemmy.ml)

submitted 1 week ago by LifeLemons@lemmy.ml to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

179 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The fuck?

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[–] lenuup@reddthat.com 28 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Get a girlfriend, fap in her shower

[–] Psythik@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

I moved in with mine; now I can fap anywhere in the house. She likes watching me do it. I find it awkward but whatever. At least I don't have to pretend that the crumpled up bits of toilet paper everywhere are "snot rags" anymore.

Edit: What's with the downvotes?

[–] Econgrad@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago (1 children)

This has to be fake.

[–] MintyAnt@lemmy.world 25 points 6 days ago

4chan posts are never fake though

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 19 points 6 days ago

Is she checking her own socks and underwear?

[–] WastingCommentSpace@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 days ago

I am definitely old. I no longer understand the internet.

[–] state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de 189 points 1 week ago (9 children)

What kind of Wooldoor Sockbat cum clogs a shower? This is so idiotic.

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 119 points 1 week ago (4 children)

But... but... people wouldn't just go and make shit up on the internet, would they?

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[–] spacecadet@lemm.ee 126 points 1 week ago (12 children)

There is either:

A backstory we are missing
Anon has a weird fetish
mom has a weird fetish
story is fake and straight
story is real and gay
some combination of the above

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[–] sexual_tomato@lemmy.dbzer0.com 92 points 1 week ago

Start watching sissy hypnosis videos to condition yourself into eating it, obviously. It's the only undetectable disposal method.

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 86 points 1 week ago (21 children)

Jesus fuck man, what kind of plumbing blocks with jizz? I could literally eat prunes and tortillas for a week and still waffle-stomp my turd down a 40mm pipe

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[–] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 80 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Just eat it you coward.

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