I think the devs openly stated they aren't backend bods and asked for help optimising the database as a priority. There's a bit of work going on on github to sort that out I think. Anyone reading this who can optimise postgresql or contribute to a database agnostic retool should probably speak to the devs as I imagine you'd be welcome.
I wish I could help so much but I doubt they're going to retool into .net haha.
Reddit was so American too, all the arguments and things seemed to be through their world view. The fediverse should allow much more diversity, and be a bit more multicultural