AddLemmus

I was so happy when I started with meds, just for the 4 hours before I crashed. Got more done than in a whole day.

Then the doc explained that crashing is not a must: I just have to eat by clock and calorie count rather than relying on appetite, not exercise / cleaning-frenzy more than I usually could, and take rests.

Now, the benefits last for an entire day.

Definitely at that dose! I started with a 5 mg tolerance test at 80 kg, was at 15 mg for a while and slowly worked up to 50 mg over 9 months.

How it affected me is quite different, but just as stunning! Especially in the first 2 - 3 months, I was in a constant state of euphoria; it felt like a recreational stimulant drug you'd get at a rave. But the main ADHD symptom that was gone immediately was that I couldn't get myself to start on a task.

Other advantages came slowly and more subtle at higher doses. It's still mostly that I finally do what needs to be done. But I do that in a very confused, easily distracted way. I'm basically Joe Biden on speed.

Very much life changing, as the anxiety from missed deadlines and built-up problems is gone.

Most absurd thing with dentists: They do this thing where they check the depth of the little pockets in the gums. It seems to have 0 medical value. Just to be like: "Watch out, it's 2.5 mm now! Two years ago, it was at 2.3 mm. Just so you know what's up."

Ironically, it takes a long time for the whole mouth and is very painful, worse than fixing actual problems, e. g. by drilling.

Mostly for that, I left my reputable high-tech dentist of two decades for a small practice with old equipment that specialises in anxiety.

A real problem is that many teachers blame everything on the phone and are like: Well, would like to help, but that kid is too much on the phone. Often, they are not. Often, the ADHD and need for more stimulation causes the use of the phone, not (only) the other way round. They even make up weird shit, like several 7 year olds have been accused of playing / watching Squid Game, which is really, really unlikely. I believe the actual number is 0. Seems to be the result of suggestive questioning, especially since it's always Squid Game.

It's complicated. Apps that are designed to milk or dopamine can cause symptoms that have some overlap with ADHD, and for even neurologically similar reasons. But having ADHD can also make it more attractive to be on the phone while doing other things in order to reach the comfortable level of stimulation.

Hey, I am offended! I'll give the bottom panel a shot once I have my new glasses.

It can be a nightmare. Without the extra stress of a child, we were very functional and undiagnosed, and things were going well. But the difference between Captain Picard and The Joker is 3 hours less sleep.

The only way this could ever have worked would have been with intensive individual counseling plus couple counseling.

Now I'm in a great place, as a single parent on peak treatment and with a good job. But the old person died in that struggle, broke completely and didn't make it through. I'm something new, inhabiting the old body, someone who can do this.

Not sure if related, but I need to see everything I need for a task on the computer. alt+tab or virtual desktops don't do it for me - I need 3 or more physical screens.

Just upped my productivity a lot by having a dedicated screen that always only shows the mindmap with the todos & plan.

I'm still getting "high" 9 months in, but suspect it'll be the same soon. Also, it's more like a coffee-rush than recreational drug at this point, but it gets the job done.

It does feel too good to be true. But I suspect that, while the intended regulation of neurotransmitters in the prefrontal cortex may not diminish too much, other effects of the stims, e. g. on the vegetative system, which cause much of the rush, are just like recreational drugs - they'll fade unless the dosage is increased more and more.

Engineered staple foods in stock are a blessing with ADHD. Don't even have to think about how much you need if meds took the appetite; they typically come in 500 kcal units.

I'm currently trying to get away from using them for 1 or 2 meals per day, but it's a great fallback option.

Also, how often did I NOT do a nice trip idea because buying, making and packing food seemed overwhelming?

Interesting insight! I travelled the same road in the other direction. As someone who loves science, I always saw my role as a patient to just report symptoms and let the doctors do their thing. And I'm sure this would be the ideal approach if everybody had the House M.D. team on their case.

But after decades of this failing, I realised that this method does not work with a real-world medical system where doctors have more bias than they should, work with methods from their studying days that assumed they had more time and resources per case, and wrong monetary incentives.

So Method 1: I say I have X, and make it clear that I'll be a PITA if their test doesn't confirm it. If there were no bias, there would be no harm to this, but if there is, it's working to my advantage now.

Method 2: Just think of them as the idiot who is clueless but gatekeeper of the much wanted prescription.

Nobody wants to hear this, but a layman's web research, LLM and 1000 hours of thinking often beats 10 years of medical training if the doctor interrupts the patient after 20 seconds and only thinks about the case for 5 minutes. (With 30 minutes, my money would be back on the trained professional, but nobody has 30 minutes.) A patient can also fixate on a premature assumption just like a doctor can, but my very subjective experience is that doctors are more prone to that.

I started with the most basic guided meditations almost 30 years ago. Next step, learn to focus on a candle or a dot on the wall without thinking about anything else. Increase the time to hold this focus. It should be a "relaxed focus"; when your head turns read or wrinkly, it's wrong.

From there, it can go to really emptying your head. Thoughts will come up, but think of them like something external that you can observe, you see the thought, you aren't the thought. Same with feelings, in my case, especially that I have to stop and get up. I see the urge to jump up, but I am not the urge.

Imagination can help at an early stage, like: I'm this scaffold full of gaps where thoughts and emotions just pass through like a smoke cloud without affecting it. But it's supposed to go to a point where even that is considered a thought that should pass.

Effects are great in many areas of life: Dreaming, sleep, notice needs like sleep or hunger or thirst before they become overwhelming. Studying and retaining the information.

Yet still, I surprisingly manage to drop the habit for a day, weeks, even years at times.

My most stupid reason is: There is a lot to do / I need to get to bed right now, so there is no time for even 5 minutes of meditation. (But there was time to browse Reddit for let's-not-say-how-many-minutes, "research" the making of for a movie I don't even like etc.) Yet that argument seems quite compelling in the moment.