That space before 60 is crucial to the answer, Dontchaknow.

What's that stuff in the "after" pic...?

Agreed. It's the man's beard that gives me "modern" vibes

What did you say? All I see is asterisks

I think the green one is misspelled. It reads:

"No llores porque termino, sonrie porque sudecio"

That almost makes sense. It should be "sucedio".

It translates to "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened"

I thought "what a cute novelty" until I saw the price

Are you defining Americans as "people that live on the American continent and the Caribbean" or "people that live in the United States of America"?

I think OP means the former.

Sofa King

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_cryptids

I felt like I was taking crazy pills until I came across this comment. I've always heard this one instead of the "beating his wife" one.

I've also heard some variations of this one like "a witch is marrying the devil" or "a witch is getting married".

I personally call them sunshowers.

Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories?

I actually do, and I know I'm not alone.