Oh boy, don't get me started on HP.....

This sounds like a wkuk episode

Yeah, it's easier if you lick your hand first. You'll get used to the taste after a while

Damn, she showed up with that 12x18!

Like the police cars in GTA say on them, "Obey and Survive"

I heard that "who let the dogs out" by the Baha Men is about ugly girls coming to the club.

I was explaining this to a coworker, and one of my female coworkers were around. After I said it, I looked at her and said "oh my gosh I'm so sorry" because I thought it was inappropriate to say at work.

She took it as I was calling her ugly! (she was though)

Chloroform

Okay, we can all go home now, we found the winner

I was helping my mom shop for a new car, and we discovered she needed the requirement of "physical AC controls".

Everything is all on the touch screen.

LASERJET COPIERS ARE SUPERIOR!

Dog is named cat. Cat is named dog!