While I definitely agree that routine checkups like that should be happening (and especially for people who just got their licenses or are 60+) at least for a car dominant culture like the US I can see that being a huge burden both on safety organizations/DMVs and on the drivers themselves. :/

People lived here fully and loved dearly. It’s sweet.

I think it was a sous vide thing.

It is definitely tough to shed that sense. Growing up knowing I was “weird” and therefore bad (no, it was just undiagnosed autism, but I was an adult before I knew that and that element of myself had long since been solidified) meant that if I wanted people to like me then I had to give more than they did in order to just break even, which is exhausting and unfair, especially since I have a tendency to read neutral expressions as negative ones.

One thing that has helped me is the realization that that happy feeling I get when someone came to me for help and I helped them? Goes both ways for good people. And it sucks for them, too, if you’re suffering and they could help but you were afraid to ask. Having standards is both a defense of yourself and a means of determining which people should stay prominent in your life.

“When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people.”

“The brutally honest care more about the brutality than the honesty.”

“Reasonable people can disagree reasonably.”

I can’t live up to those ideals but it would be cruel to myself and others to stop trying to.

Wasn’t there one of these where he kept a steak in the danger zone for like a week or so?

Tell me you identify more with a rapist than with their victim without actually saying that.

What a system is capable of doing initially for a lucky fraction of the populace and where its inevitable and terrible end leads for the vast majority are two entirely different things.

Those are all good points! Certainly some of it is growing pains, but it would make for a better entry point to have a walkthrough upon signup. That could be true of apps, as well.

It’s all a balancing act, isn’t it? Between managing reputation and the increased trust/context it brings, allowing for a broader range of opinions (and more contentious ones) versus encouraging consensus within a community, and managing user expectations. How do you keep out trolls and chan-culture without encouraging fearful bean counting and a smoothening of the many bumpy opinions into what is widely perceived as acceptable?

What works for a suddenly engorged, amorphous and non-profit driven organization like Lemmy is going to be different from what Reddit can do from a top-down perspective. I’ve always held paid actors to a higher standard than unpaid ones, so I’m willing to rely more on my own internal sorting of value. Everyone has experienced a time where they or someone else made a good point that was ignored in favor of the popular person’s more mundane one, and I think that that’s just a part of humanity that you can’t kick out without establishing some sort of external arbiter.

I don’t know the answer to it, just that a simpler system that one disagrees with is easier to navigate than one that’s more complex.

If I could live in a triplex with one of my siblings and our friend, so each of us knows we have quiet neighbors who don’t use excessive amounts of utilities while still having privacy, that would be absolutely phenomenal.

I don’t NEED a huge place, and a lot of things bigger than an apartment feel wasteful for just 1 or 2 people, but if I’m stuck with shit roomies/neighbors again I WILL begin killing and eating people.