TheReanuKeeves

I said I know my ABCs, I didn't say I know how to structure children's songs. Next you're going to expect me to be able to work AND be sober at the same time, SHEESH!

I swear to Oracle that if you make my mouth disappear I will put you on a bus with a speed sensitive explosive

Are you trying to deport me???

Everyone knows the song goes "ex, why, zed. Now I know my ABCs, next time won't you sing with med"

Always have something in your hand, a slightly irritated but thoughtful expression on your face, and call in a bomb threat if you get stuck napping under your desk while your boss is in your office waiting for you

It's "Zed" not "Zee"

I wish I complained about how narrow my shoes always were but now my pinky toes are mangled

It's pretty easy if you eat all the mushrooms, flowers, and leaves you come across because you'll either be high, full of energy, or dead and don't need to deal with this pointless journey we call existence.

Waking up to serve others while we become empty husks, retire, and turn into worm food so that we may complete the cycle of life, fueling the growth of plants and mycelia for the next victim.

Anyways, our princess is in another castle

As someone who seems to have a 36 hour circadian rhythm, my life would be dramatically better if I could pause time to sleep when needed, actually been a dream of mine for about 25 years

If you're asking to be spitroasted you can probably find some people on craigslist

They didn't make digital backups?

Buddy I think you need a smoke