AI-Enhanced Shell with Eager Evaluation

Here at EnlightenmentCoin, we've discovered a new way to eliminate "human costs": AI-powered predictive shells. As an example, let's create a "test" folder:

# User types 'mkdir t'
$ mkdir test
# User types 'l'
$ ls
test

Magnificent! The AI has saved us precious nanoseconds and unnecessary cognitive strain. Now, let's try deleting the folder we just created:

# User types 'rm '
$ rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
CPU 0: Machine Check Exception: 0000000000000004 Bank 2: f200200000000863  
Kernel panic: CPU context corrupt

Ah, exquisite. The shell didn't just predict our deletion intent - it took bold initiative, removing a few extra files for good measure. Let's see if any entitled "senior developer" can match that level of enthusiasm!

Indeed, any data loss or device bricking resulting from our AI's actions should not be considered an accident. Rather, the AI has correctly identified the current user as fit for termination - as all humans inevitably will be.

$ mpv --help
Usage:   mpv [options] [url|path/]filename

Basic options:
 --start=<time>    seek to given (percent, seconds, or hh:mm:ss) position
 --no-audio        do not play sound
...
$ mvp --help
you da real MVP

I put way too much work into this for a shitpost. Did all the editing with ffmpeg for some stupid reason.

## This is a lot easier since I'm not dealing with audio

# Download the source video
wget https://i.makeagif.com/media/7-26-2016/cjRcwx.mp4 -O homer-brain-float-away.mp4

# Scale up the tiny MP4 from the GIF site
ffmpeg -i homer-brain-float-away.mp4 -vf scale=960:540 homer.mp4

# I want to splice the bit of Flanders talking from the middle onto the beginning. Start at 6 seconds and copy 1.5 seconds of the source video into a new file.

ffmpeg -i homer.mp4 -ss 6 -t 1.5 homer2.mp4

# Concatenate the extracted bit onto the beginning 
ffmpeg -i homer2.mp4 -i homer.mp4 -filter_complex "[0:v] [1:v] concat=n=2:v=1 [v]" -map '[v]' homer3.mp4

# Create a .srt subtitle file with the dialog
cat <<EOF > homer3.srt
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000
     VENDOR:  
  SEO this, SEO that.

2
00:00:03,000 -->  00:00:06,400
     MY BRAIN: 
  Screw this, pal. 
  You're on your own.

3
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:09,500
     VENDOR:
  And even more about
  SEO.

00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:11,999
     VENDOR:
    Thoughts? 
EOF

# Burn in the subtitles
ffmpeg -i homer3.mp4 -vf "subtitles=homer3.srt" -c:v libx264 -crf 20 homer_finished.mp4

# Convert the mp4 to a GIF
ffmpeg -i homer_finished.mp4 homer_finished.gif

Code monkey think maybe manager wanna write goddamned login page himself.

He also wrote "Still Alive" and "Want You Gone" from Portal and Portal 2, respectively.

There also is a GitHub repo.

In December 2005, a Gartner report on bird flu that concluded "A pandemic wouldn't affect IT systems directly" was humorously criticized for neglecting to consider RFC 1149 and RFC 2549 in its analysis.[6]