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Legit question for rural Americans - how do I kill the 50-100 feral raccoons that run into my yard within 3-5 mins while my small kids play
Armed kids?
The only way to stop 50-100 raccoons that run into your yard is with a good guy with a gun.
The only way to stop 50-100 bad raccoons that run into your yard is 50-100 good raccoons with guns
😒✋
😏👉
This is why we need machine guns. Imagine trying to get all 100 with a semi auto rifle. I think you'd get maybe 10 before you get mobbed by raccoons.
A lawn chair, case of beer and a varmint rifle will make a good start.
Simple, poison the food.
wtf?! I would never poison a child!
Then how do you plan to have room for 100 raccoons?
Trenches and barbed wire.
Yeah. Go full Leiningen on them!
Edit: Wow, I never read that Wikipedia page before. That story has 100% more inspiration from Hitler than I was ever taught about in school. They didn't even tell us the author was German.
Raccoons are smart and will learn from the mistakes of their brethren. Perhaps you could encase a neighbor child in Kevlar and have them run around a route of raccoon bait and, uh, humane land mines?
Edit shit I think you were referencing the feral hogs meme. I vaguely remember that from a Jamie Loftus joint