this post was submitted on 30 Oct 2024
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for many years, I went blessedly unaware of who this random fuckjack was, knowing only: 1) ambiently knowing the name, 2) that I ambiently know the name (these two things together are usually a decent heuristic for me to not bother digging)
and then I got jumpscared by a full-scale mrbeast standee in a shop some months back
may I soon be able to forget about this fuckjack once again
All you need to know is that his real name is Jimmy Donaldson and he's exactly the type of person you expect to be named Jimmy Donaldson.
I'll be honest, that name gives me the vibe of some somewhat good guy who got straight A's but has worked at a sandwich shop for 10 years.
Old Donaldson had a grift, E-I-E-I-O
And he would often pump-and-dump, E-I-E-I-O
With a wallet here and a wallet there, Here a pump, there a dump, everywhere pump-dump,
Old Donaldson had a grift, E-I-E-I-O.