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Yes I am a skinny "quirked up" white boy with long hair who grew up in sheltered white suburbia and smokes too much weed. Yes I am a college student who was introduced to communism online and rapidly became radicalized.
It's such perfect ammo and it is ruining me
In my experience that Roald Dahl poem about how a person with kind thoughts can never be ugly is the truest thing I've ever known. I put a huge premium on ways to calm my judgements up to and including swallowing my pride and doing roleplay with my inner child to redefine my narratives.
Take one day a week where you can take yourself less seriously so you can laugh and thank the magic rectangle for the providence to deliver you from cringe by showing you communism. If you can't "separate the art from the artist" then explore that. Do you have a community of people who rely on you to win the day so you have to shoulder the burden? Or perhaps have you grown really attached who you perceive yourself to be in relation to others - are you in love with your narrative? Others might be full court pressed by your responsibilities which sucks and we should work together to make society better so these people have a world worth persisting for.