this post was submitted on 12 Nov 2024
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Not sure any advice on a website is going to do you much good. Clearly you're struggling with something but the way you've described your perspective it seems like you regard yourself as better than others.
What drove you to the left other than compassion for your fellow human? Surely you know some people who don't even know what 4chan is or at least didn't know it was still around. If you hate everyone what's the point of fighting to make their lives better?
If I'm honest? My utter hatred and bone-deep contempt for white Amerika. The only compassion or empathy I still nurture is for those the Settler empire oppresses; and even that has become contingent on whether they stand against the Settler, or have cooned out and placed themselves back under His thumb. I hate living in this country, I hate being both literally and metaphorically surrounded by the tacit, oppressive philosophy and habitus of Whiteness, I hate having to pretend I don't just to be able to clear next month's rent in a shitty apartment I got redlined into, I hate being condescended to like I just have to accept that shit isn't going to change in this country in my lifetime.
If I don't make it out, if I don't find somewhere to go where I'm not getting profiled by some cracker because I didn't hide the texture of my hair from them, I'm going to live under the yoke of crackers, likely for the rest of my life. My nephews and nieces, since ain't no way I'm giving this slave state more grist for its crushing wheels, they will likely live under that yoke too. And I fucking hate it.
When I say "I'm only out here for my folk" I honest-to-God mean it.