this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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I moved back in with my parents at 35 a couple years ago after personal financial ruin.

CW: SuicideI was so depressed at the time that I told them they should let me die because I didn't want to be a financial burden on them.

That's how seriously money was weighing on my mind at the time.

All I knew about my parents finances before yesterday was that they had multiple high-interest credit cards nearly maxed out. I knew this because my mom has shared the account login credentials with me.

All I could think about was getting a job ASAP to help the family stay of the streets, but I was too depressed to function.

Yesterday after a long conversation, my mom shows me her Merrill Lynch account on her iPad. It has a balance of over $128k. All stocks.

My mom has been squirreling every dollar she can into it for the past thirty years.

I clicked "max" on the balance history. The balance used to be over $600k but she makes a lot of trades.

I'm going through a lot of emotions rn.

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[–] daxattack@hexbear.net 20 points 1 day ago (1 children)

How old are your parents? The general rule of thumb is that you need to save 8- or 10-12x your annual income for retirement. If they are anywhere near retirement age they honestly probably couldn’t afford to pay for your college. We don’t know the details of how they blew through that money (they may have moved it to another broker) but even if they still have 600K that could be their entire retirement savings. You can go through that quickly with a major health issue. If you look on the bright side it’s nice that you can always stay with them when you fall on hard times…

[–] quarrk@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago

Yeah I was thinking the same thing but didn’t want to start some sort of money struggle session. Working for 3 fucking decades and building up a savings of 128k is not rich by any means. It’s not enough to retire. I wouldn’t expect my parents to drain their retirement to cover my student loans.

Granted, they might have 401k savings as well, but I kind of doubt it. It wouldn’t make sense not to max out 401k first.