this post was submitted on 27 Nov 2024
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 16 points 11 hours ago (4 children)

"Spilling seed" is a sin... So confirmed that Jesus saw it and thought it was worth forgiving by dying on a cross for.

[–] TheRealKuni@lemmy.world 23 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Eh. The thing Catholics use to say spilling seed is a sin is them completely misunderstanding what was happening.

So this dude Onan’s brother died without giving his wife any sons (or maybe children in general, I don’t remember). So according to tradition at the time, Onan was supposed to provide her with a son. But once he gave her a son, his job would be complete and he wouldn’t get to bang her anymore. So he pulled out.

The problem here wasn’t that he spilled his seed, it was that he spilled his seed in order to keep banging his brother’s widow.

But the Roman Catholic Church at some point was like, “OMG masturbation must be bad too!” So they decided that masturbation should he called “Onanism.” Which is ridiculous, dude is famous for pulling out, not jackin’ it.

🙄

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 2 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah I really don't care about why it's that way. I'm atheist. I just know that's what I was told when they were attempting to indoctrinate me my entire childhood. It's also part of why I quoted it... and why I treated it as the joke that it is.

But...

The problem here wasn’t that he spilled his seed, it was that he spilled his seed in order to keep banging his brother’s widow.

So the idea is that succumbing to hedonism is the problem (desiring the act over his duties)... of which I'm sure we can all agree that masturbation is basically 100% of the time outside of let's say clearing the chamber after a vasectomy or some other medical procedure. It makes sense regardless why catholocism would come to that conclusion based on their faith in the fictitious book regardless.

[–] andros_rex@lemmy.world 2 points 2 hours ago

It’s less about succumbing to hedonism, and more the fact that he was disobeying God (and trying to screw the women he was banging out of an inheritance).

He was supposed to impregnate his brothers widow to provide her with a son. This was a “levirate” marriage - essentially, the son would considered his brother’s and would inherit his brother’s property. Women didn’t inherit property, so this was a common practice to make sure that widows were taken care of.

Onan pulled out because he didn’t want to get her pregnant - he wanted the inheritance for himself. So he was being a massive douche, and deserved it.

[–] zalgotext@sh.itjust.works 7 points 8 hours ago (3 children)

"Spilling seed" is a sin...

First off, I've never read the Bible, so apologies for any ignorance I'm about to display.

Second, how literal are we talking here? Like, do backshots count as "spilling seed"? What if she's a spitter, is she doomed to eternal damnation? Is hot creampie sex the only legal sex, according to the Bible?

[–] Infomatics90@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 hour ago

yes, doing backshots is "spilling seed"

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

Specifically, when you’re having sex with the widow of your brother who died before he was able to give her an heir with the purpose of ensuring she has an heir in your family as is your religious duty, it’s a sin to pull out before ejaculating.

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 5 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I have no fucking clue... I think it's crazy. But the idea that Jesus witnessed all of that and decided that dying to absolve us of it all is fucking hilarious.

I just like the idea that he saw a donkey show and said, "yep... that's worth dying for!"

Is hot creampie sex the only legal sex, according to the Bible?

I do believe so...

[–] Croquette@sh.itjust.works 4 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Don't kink shame Jesus. He was human like all of us

No shame. Anything consenting adults want to do is fine. Just don't be weird and talk to me about your private affairs in public.

[–] samus12345@lemmy.world 5 points 7 hours ago

Every sperm is sacred, every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted, god gets quite irate!

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I find it hard to believe spilling it is more of a sin than saving it in a jar in the fridge.

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 4 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

I find it hard to believe spilling it is more of a sin than saving it in a jar in the fridge.

He saw that too... and died for it. So it must be worth it.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

maybe that's what made their deity decide to die. seeing the future blast rope to waluigi and then save it in a jar

[–] Saik0Shinigami@lemmy.saik0.com 3 points 7 hours ago

Must be the most divine act to make the son of god die to save it.