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caloric deficiency.
Guess I found the limit of a lemmy comment, huh? ~10k chars. Kk.
Anyway, to sum it up, it's just my opinion based on what I know and believe, but I do believe you should try and exclusion diet for a few weeks with some light exercise if you're capable, then do LSD, ecstasy or shrooms and then look at this again. You've clearly tried the more traditional cares, which are usually pretty ineffective. If you try those as well and still want to kill yourself, well, then I can't help you further. But I still refuse to straight out assert that no help is possible. Because it's hard to assert something is NOT possible. Things might be extraordinarily unlikely, but not... impossible.
That's what kept me alive at least.
As a kid I got help from a few times at a raves or a few times slightly tripping at home with friends or solo. A few times a year, at the most. Found it quite helpful at times. But it didn't take away my body's feeling of sort of being "overclocked". That went away with my exclusion diet mostly. I don't assume it will work for you, but it definitely wouldn't harm you.
I mean, what have you to lose by trying? I mean I know I had to lose was just being annoyed at doing something I didn't find that pleasurable. But that's why I got the candy. And chicken. And anything remotely pleasurable, while still remaining within the limits of the low fodmaps. It took a few weeks, but I started feeling better. Now I do still get symptoms if I expose myself to gluten or whatnot, but not like bad, not instantly. A few hours in I might notice some tiny symptoms, but nothing clinically significant. But several days in and then I start noticing the same things again.
One major thing I always notice is this weird feeling of like mouth feeling different. It's weird never really knew how to explain it. Different ph in the mouth? Idk. It's just like... slightly off.
I'm still depressed and in a shit life situation, but I had developed pretty significant coping strategies throughout my years, and now all of those are just... so much more effective.
But also you did mention being around "the age where schizophrenia is the worst" and I think you're talking about 27 and yeah I had my worst years then as well. I'm still reeling and it's been almost a decade.
Anyway, you do what you think is right, but that's my 20000000000000000000000000000 cents.