this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2024
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askchapo

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Cishet dudes of Hexbear: Do feel that certain gender or sexuality norms are harmful to you personally? If so, what are they and how would you say they affect you? (hexbear.net)
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by Carcharodonna@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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So, back when I was "still cis tho", there were a lot of aspects of male gender norms that bothered me deeply and of course I totally understand why now. Even though these days I obviously have a clear reason for feeling that way, I'm still curious if cishet men also have issues with how norms or expectations around gender and sexuality impact them in a negative way.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on how those norms impact you, whether good or bad.

Also, I should mention that since this is a bit of a sensitive subject we're talking about here, please be thoughtful and sensitive when discussing with others in this thread. Thanks! <3

EDIT: Much thanks for all the great responses here! I know it's a difficult topic of course, so I appreciate you sharing your thoughts/feelings like this.

Speaking of which... I just looked at /c/menby and some of the posts on the front page there are over 2 years old. I see a lot of the discussion here centered around not being able to share feelings and/or not having the spaces or support to do that in. /c/menby seems like the perfect place for that, just sayin'.

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[–] ProfessorOwl_PhD@hexbear.net 52 points 1 week ago

I volunteer with kids on international camps, which means I get given legal guardianship of them for the duration of camp, and a bunch of paperwork to go with it. When travelling, I always keep that paperwork as the closest thing to hand, because I'm a young adult travelling with 4 kids that are obviously not my own so everyone and their aunt wants to make sure I'm not a kidnapper.
Anyway, I brought it up during training one year and found out none of the women have ever had to deal with that. The closest they'd got was one particularly short woman who had trouble convincing airport staff that she was actually the responsible over 21 adult, and not another child.
Now in my particular case I don't think regarding me with suspicion is unwarranted, but it even more clearly demarks how society treats men and women around children - Men aren't trusted even with their own children, while women are trusted with absolutely any children, both of which are seriously problematic.