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I feel like the burden of living with my parents is so strong that I have no motivation for any hobbies. I gotta move out first but like I said I already tried and failed. It's like a negative spiral that seems impossible to get out of.
Normally I have lots of hobbies such as working out, jogging, swimming and have many interests including technology, science and social activities. I partly did all that when I wasn't living with my parents. But currently my state is paralyzing me and preventing me from doing any of that.
That's a lot of activities. .. you sound a bit like me: well I went for a jog (meaning I ran like crazy for 1 and a half hours) I worked only a little bit today (six hrs of demanding physical work) then I met with only one friend (we discussed her divorce) and in the evening I cought up on studies to finish my MA ..
I was trying to catch up on life and also internalised the abuse of not beeing enough nor doing enough.
Please learn to be nice to yourself. I had to try out six psychologists before I found one who was able to see behind my mask and allowed me to work through my experiences (abuse, etc. )
I needed to learn to pace myself ( a half hr walk is good enough for your mental health, also I discovered weight training / bodybuilding works well. (I was mostly doing endurance muscles before to "stay lean" and not look "too burly". That was a bad idea. Fuck the patriarchy.) weight training is even scientifically proven to enhance your brain activity.
Also your reactions sound like you have a little bit of deficiency in some minerals/amino acids/ vitamins. If your health care provider covers it you should get your bloodwork done. I did the same thing when I finally was able to get away - I was constantly tired and unwell because I forgot to eat Cruciferous plants.
Or you can try the poor people route and just eat the supplements you can affford for a month and see if it changes anything. In that case tracking your mood helps you see changes. Mood journal PDF s are easily found on google. Toxic family upbringing has a tendency to make you misremember your own moods and diminish your successes.
Building routines also helps. Every bit of daily (self) care.
Wish you the best.