I've been waiting until after Christmas day to make this post, but some of our communities recently have had a lot of noise and upset over someone that uses neopronouns that most people are unfamiliar with.
So I want to make this clear. A persons pronouns are to be respected. This is true when the user is using neopronouns that you're unfamiliar with. It's true even if you think someone is trolling. Pronouns are not rewards for good behaviour. They aren't only to be respected when you like the person you're interacting with, or if their pronouns "make sense" to you. Trolls, spammers, twitter users, it doesn't matter who they are, your options are to respect their pronouns, or to not engage with them.
I really want to re-iterate the importance of this. Gender diverse folk are undermined, invalidated and questioned at every step of our lives. As a community, we need to be working to undo that, not creating more of it, and that means there is no space for treating pronouns (including neopronouns) as a reward for good behaviour.
This isn't a free reign for trolls and spammers. The rules still apply. Trolling, spamming, etc will continue to be dealt with, but it's not an excuse to act as if respecting someones pronouns is optional.
I've spent what feels like half an hour scrolling through comment threads to figure out what the hell happened to lead to this. Is there some kind of explainer somewhere? Is there a key thread that I missed somehow? Should I even be asking?
There's a user called dragonfucker whose gender is apparently "dragonfucker", who insists on the neopronoun "drag", and who eagerly takes offense whenever misgendered, whether the misgendering was intentional or not. Some people understandably believe this user is a troll.
Except they don't eagerly take offense to being mispronouned. Most of the time, when I've seen it, they don't even say anything.
Dragon Rider, actually, not dragonfucker. And drag isn't mad that you misremembered.
Some Lemmy clients show handle instead of username, that's why some users may never have seen 'Drag Rider (drag)' at all
I haven't seen them take offense very often
How dare you call drag 'them'!!! >:(
😂😂😂 just kidding, drag doesn't act like that. Thank you for sticking up for drag.
I love for drag to have the courage and space to express dragself, so it's always heartbreaking when people are hating on drag for no reason instead of just engaging with the content of drag's comments and having meaningful discussions. Stay true to dragself and don't let others make drag change. Thank you to the instance admins for standing up for drag.
If you think respecting neopronouns is a horrible idea, you picked the wrong instance
is this a real comparison? are you doing a “slippery slope” thing?
how EXACTLY is calling drag by their preferred term going to pave the way for pedophiles to take over lgbtq spaces?
There's no slope, I don't think people who are attracted to minors should be accepted or validated, and making that an instance rule makes me deeply uncomfortable.
I'm just sick of seeing Minor Attracted People being blindly accepted into our spaces.
We have to draw the line somewhere.
Edit: I literally don't care about the dragonfucker, dragons aren't real and aren't children.
i don’t know how or why you wandered in here, but you’re the only person taking about whatever it is you’re talking about
You are this close to a ban for your ongoing conflation of paedophilia and neopronouns. Your question was also answered in my initial post. Pronouns are to be respected. Behaviour is actionable.
Do you know what a Minor Attracted Person is?
Will Minor Attracted People be welcome in this community?
I'm going to make this simple. There is no ability for a minor to consent, and non consensual behaviour of any sort is not welcome on this instance.
And nor are you for repeated conflation of the two topics.
A user called drag can sometimes rub people the wrong way. Sometimes it's drag's actions. Sometimes it's the fact drag refers to dragself with pronouns using various permutations of drag.
The former is a valid reason for contention. The latter isn't.
~~I always thought Drag was speaking in the third person. Did I misunderstand something?~~ Edit: yes, I did
Drag does both, as demonstrated in this very thread.
This is more of a public service announcement style of post than a deeply intentioned 'after incident response' post.
While I'm sure there have been plenty of incidents based on some of the other comments, there hasn't been some singular massive event to cause this to happen. If anything it's more of a reminder that one purpose of blahaj.zone is for inclusivity and acceptance. Excluding people because of some indirect words is not the goal.
Thanks for clarifying.