this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2025
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This and also allowing yourself to express and process those feelings. Keeping a crush bottled up is a one-way street to idealizing someone rather than appreciating them for who they are and usually leads to a disappointing confession once it becomes too unbearable.
How do I do this.
It depends. You’ve gotta be mindful of your relationships.
If you process this by talking to a friend who’s a 3rd party, how often and for how long can you do that before they get sick of it? Every day for a week? A month? A year?
If you talk about it with her, are you trying to pursue her? Do you want friendship if she rejects you? I think my go-to way is to say something like, “I value our friendship and I’m having these feelings and I want to talk through them because I don’t want to jeopardize anything.” But your mileage will vary. A very real possibility that people tend not to think about because we’re taught to devalue it is that you could find the two of you being good friends in five years and these feelings being long behind you, or at least not dictating your mood.
If neither of these options sounds good, journaling can help. Whatever way you can manage to feel your feelings, like as sensations in your body not just intellectually, and get those feelings out, do that.